But, today, at lunch, I had to send EG to her room for throwing a fit.
"Why was she throwing a fit?"
I thought you'd never ask!
Her biscuit was broken (read: crumbly).
It wasn't perfect.
This is a thing for her.
At McDonald's, she becomes ballistic if the meat patty & the bun are off-centered, or if the bun has a "crack" in it. I know. Cute, really, but annoying when you have to stop eating every few minutes to um, rearrange her burger or convince her that her food will still taste great even if the bun isn't ideal.
Another of my children, when they were very small, ~REFUSED~ to use a restroom unless it was immaculate. Great! Cleanliness is next to godliness, right?!? Not at Wal-Mart! They don't pay me enough to clean THOSE stalls for her to use their facilities (in fact, they don't pay me at ALL!)
I could go on.
You may be wondering what the big deal is, just make adjustments for the child to be happy, to stop screaming or to get them to do what you want, & go on, right?
Well, yes & no.
How many things in life are perfect?
In my life...not much.
Well, my life *is perfectly wonderful*, but there are many, Many, MANY imperfections, too. This is particularly frustrating to a perfectionist.
My mind is a perfectionist...my life...not so much. Over the years, I have had to.....let's saaaayyyy.......adjust....my way of thinking - my standards, even.
At first, I was just like EG. Screaming, kicking, throwing one righteous FIT!!!
NOT becoming of a lady!
Did that change the way things were going?
Yes! In fact, it DID!
For the worse.
I was more miserable. Everyone around me was miserable. It was not good.
So, back to my original story. Do I make adjustments for the kiddos when things aren't going just as they would like for them to be, no matter how trivial? Usually not. Don't get me wrong. I do let my sweeties pluck my heartstrings periodically. I'm not totally heartless! However, when I see that something is becoming a habit, I try to consider what the root issue is, and then deal with them accordingly.
Ultimately, as I've said before, my goal is to raise healthy, well-adjusted adults.
Is 2 or 3 too early to begin learning that life doesn't always throw you the balls you were expecting?
The early, formative years are the perfect time for making adjustments, to learn to go with the flow.
I cannot tell you how many vacations I have planned for our family. Wonderful, fun-filled, activity-packed, family-bonding, scrapbook fodder.
That. Never. Happened.
After a while, it became almost a hobby to plan a trip for ten...just to see if I could.
At first, I would become despondant. Depressed. Angry. Then, the moral of the experience began to sink in: make plans to enjoy your life, then live it as it comes, oh, and: don't make plans that you can't get your deposit back on!
Now, I never know for sure if we will do something until we pull out of the driveway. We don't even usually have hotel reservations until the day we leave!
Ewwwwww!!!! I still hate that!!
Why do these events fall apart on us? Kids. Sickness. Work. Money. You name it, it happens. Does wailing, gnashing my teeth or wallowing in ashes help. Nope. Life goes on, AND it is still good. My response, though, determines HOW good it is. Oh, and: HOW I respond directly affects how my children respond.
(Mom throws a fit + kids throw fits) x anger = REALLY bad results!!!
Soooooo....EG goes to her room or doesn't get a biscuit if she cannot learn that life is still good even if her meal isn't Food-Network-perfect!