Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Food for Thought

Do you like to eat?

I know...dumb question, but the other day, my pastor made a comment that really, um irritated (?) (probably) me.

He said, "I don't care much for food or what I eat."


People feel that way?

He seems so normal....

In all honesty, I think the reason it struck me is because of envy (great trade one of the 7 deadlies for another).

I have had a love/hate relationship with food since childhood. I love to eat it & hate to stop. LOL I was a....uh....chubby kid. You know the one. Clumsy, jiggly, bad hair. Yeah. That was me. I also talked too much & was clingy, but that's for another post. I had some self-esteem issues as a result of my appearance. So, I sought comfort in a nice cold bowl of Blue Bell ice cream. Great results.

Somewhere in my earlyish teens the chunks gave way to curves & I felt pretty ok about me, although I was still fat in my own eyes. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be that fat again. I was a blimpy 120 pounder when I said, "I do", and thought I should have been smaller. Unfortunately, one of the things my new hubby & I had in common was a love for good food. As a result, we have struggled for most of our nearly 20 years of marital bliss with our weight.

Right now, I am paying Weight Watchers every month to send me reminders to track my meals. I don't. I buy Lean Cuisine meals....and Blue Bell. I get so very aggrivated with myself when I "fail".

For the last year, we have been going to WW meetings & were doing very well. However, I marveled at nearly every meeting at the number of people who were in that room discussing how we all could manipulate the system to get as much food as possible each day & still lose weight. It seems so....messed up. We spend our time & money to discuss how to do something in moderation that is NECESSARY for our existance!!!

I am a stress eater. I have a large family. Figure it out.

However, I am truly of the frame of mind that overeating, and gluttony are sins that are not really addressed. Yes, there are worse sins, but self-indulgence is blatantly against the self-sacrificing message of Christ.

I don't murder.

I don't commit adultry.

There are many of the "biggies" that I don't partake in. Yay me.

Yet, I still have sin in the camp. Yep, right under my "tent" dress, there is the obvious result of my sin. It is, at times, humiliating. I have even wished there were something medically wrong with me, so I could blame my weight on that. No luck.

Is this post depressing? I don't mean for it to be. I am being honest. In our world of "foodies", junk food, drive thru, &'s no wonder we are an obese nation. Our lives are crazy busy, so we eat to survive while we live a life that's killing us.

One of the few things in my home that mean something to me is a little sign in my living room that says, "Simplify".

That's it.

Nothing else.

It's not a suggestion, it's a command.

If my life were more simplistic, I would have more time for relaxation which would, in turn, reduce stress, which should then cause weight least for me.

I am feeling more & more convinced that I need to put some real focus on this. In past weeks & months, I have let myself slip.

It is summer, after all.

I've stayed up too late, slept too long, skipped breakfast, ran around town, skipped chores, forgotten dinner....and gained weight. Again.

I saw something today that hit home, I think it was by C.S. Lewis (or maybe Albert Einstein...anyway, someone smarter than me). It said,

"Insanity: doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results."

That's it!

I'm insane.

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