Thursday, October 4, 2012

...On Turning 40.

So, yesterday, I turned the big 4-0. 

Very quietly.

Without fanfare.

I have had an entire year to ponder the implications of turning 40 & how people react to that number, and I have come up with some thoughts. 

Wanna know what they are? (if not, find something else to do...)

First of all, growing older does not bother me in the least.  I don't care about my age...for reals.

Know why?

I'm happy.  Ecstatically, blissfully, thoroughly happy.  True story.

No lies, though, my life is far from a Norman Rockwell-esque portrait.  It's crazy, organized chaos that causes me fits & frustrations, and, frequently, tears.  I am not a perfect wife, mom, friend....person.  But....I am right where I am supposed to be & I can feel that in my gut.  I am content.

Oh, sure, there are things that I would have done differently had I been the one in charge of my destiny, but then...the question begs to be asked...would I have been as fulfilled?  An inkling in my mind says no.  So often, we think we have it all covered...but, there is so much down the road that we cannot see. 

When I was growing up, I never thought I would have 8 kiddos to raise. 

I didn't even like kids. 
However, if I hadn't given life to each one of these people that call me Mom...would I be the same person I am today?  Would I be as fulfilled?  Little voice is saying, no.
There are things about my life that are exactly as I had planned out, though. 
I am in a wonderful church, serving God with most of my ability (there's ALWAYS room for improvement there).  He is faithful to me, even when I have been otherwise distracted and ungrateful.
We are blessed to travel often.  I love making memories with my kids & husband.  We have made choices in our 20 years together, that have facilitated this in our lives. 
We don't use credit. 
Top of the list of best decisions we've ever made.(Disclaimer:  this does not include house & car payments.) 
We chose to live in a double-wide manufactured home (yep, we're trailer trash) rather than take out a $250,000 loan to build our "dream" home that we had designed ourselves.  Memories of experiences rather than crown mouldings were more important to us.  
These decisions have brought me great peace.
You know, I have gray hairs.  It's ok.  Really.  I do get some hi/low lights put in my hair &, if some of the gray gets covered, great, if not, no biggie.  See, I've earned those hairs.  Each and every one.  Maybe you gave me one!  Who am I to turn down a gift???  LOL!!!  Seriously, my only wish is that I turn into one of those old ladies with gorgeous blue white hair.  I kinda feel like the grays represent the trials, tests & experiences that I have gone through.  They represent: life.
One last thought on getting older....well...hmmmm...I forgot what it was.
Hey, can you read this post ok?  This font seems smallish...........

1 comment:

  1. Ahhhh Dianna, The joys of getting older.... No really.... J/K Denise, I love your blog. You always make me smile. I am very proud of you. You Rock!!!