Today is my 18th wedding anniversary!
I was only 19 years old when I married Lloyd. I just THOUGHT I was in love with him! Oh, I loved him like most newlyweds do, with romantic love. Don't get me wrong, romantic love is great, but it's not a deep, sustaining love.
For one thing, I didn't really KNOW him.
How can you really know who someone is after only knowing them for a relatively short time? It is only in living in close proximity, day in & day out in all kinds of situations that you really begin to know who someone is. You learn their character. What are their motivations? Are they giving, kind, selfless-truly...or did they only appear that way to impress & win your heart?
Marriage is a forever-thing. Even if a marriage ends in divorce, there is still a part of you that is connected with that person, you've given some of the deepest parts of your body & soul to them. So many young people today see the wedding as the "marriage". I mean, you can live with someone without being married, right? Marriage is seen as just the ultra-expensive, over- the-top party that celebrates your living arrangement at the moment!
When choosing a spouse, you MUST be ready & willing to have this person as your roommate, buddy, lover, confidant, bestie, partner, & support for the REST of your life! In return, you MUST be willing to be each one of these things for them PLUS all of the things that they need in return. Marriage is about being what is needed as well as learning how to be what you haven't yet achieved. For instance, I never dreamed that I would bear & raise 8 children. How do you do that? I still wonder :). The key to rising to the challenges that your married life brings you is to be willing to grow; willing to change your ideas and expectations for your life. No matter what your expectations were when you said "I DO", the life that God gives you is your reality. How we respond to our reality is directly related to the level of peace, love, joy & contentment in our life.
Whew...so much for not getting on my soapbox! LOL I say these things, not because I am perfect or that I have these things aced in my life, but because I can see that this is the way it MUST be in order to have a harmonious relationship with the love of my life. I am growing a little every day. In so many ways, I have done more growing in the 18 years of my marriage than I did in the 19 years before that (add those two together, and you now know how old I am :). I am grateful each & every day for the life that God has seen fit to give me. Each day, no matter how difficult or frustrating, is a special gift created just for me with a big fat shiny red bow on it!
I have an AMAZING life partner. He is everything a husband is supposed to be. My prayer is that I can continue to grow & be the wife he deserves.
I pray the same thing for you! Go...have a great day! Do something wonderful for your spouse today!