Look! I Made This!!

It has been more than a year since I have blogged, and, boy what a year it has been!  I would apologize, but...ehhh...whatcha gonna do?

I have many thoughts in my mind the past few days & just felt the urge to write them down...to express them in some way.  Isn't that what a blog is for? 

If you know me at all, you might say I am a creative sort.  I have always had a "thing" for creating stuff.  Sometimes for money, sometimes for personal pleasure, often-times for relaxation.

Do you create? 

What is your creative outlet?

Do you scrapbook (I do)? 

How about photography (yep, that, too)?

Needlework (me, too!)?

Sewing (ummm..duh.)?

Quilting (nah...)?


One of the sometimes embarrassing, and secretly pleasant, side-effects of creativity is the compliments.  The ooh's & the ahh's are....nice.  I truly enjoy looking at something I have poured hours and hours of my time into.  Conversely, I have been known to fully complete something, say an outfit for one of my kids, and then chunk it in the Goodwill bag after one wear because I was humiliated to say I had made it.  Hey, we all have off days!  HA!


So, by now, you may be thinking this post is a bit self-serving, and maybe, in the end, it will be.  However, the creative expression that I want to talk about isn't about something you can buy supplies for at the local Hobby Lobby or Joanns craft stores.  It's bigger than that.  Chances are, it's something that even you...the self-professed "uncreative" person partakes in everyday.


Do you have kids?

I do.

Eight of them.

Yes.  Eight.

Five girls & three boys.

Ages 6-21.

Yes, they are all mine.

No, there are no twins.

No, we aren't Mormon or Catholic.

No, we don't know the Duggars personally.

No, I didn't plan to have them all, God did.

(I think that covers all of the most-asked questions....)


My kids are my greatest creation.  I know, I know...technically, I didn't create them, God did.  However, I DID play a VERY big role in it...so I'll take a little bit of credit.


From the moment I first laid eyes on each of them, they stole my whole heart.  I believe I must have, like, 10 or 13 hearts...one for each of my kids, one for my sweetheart, and some extras for all the other people I love.

From the moment I first held each one, I knew they were a great creation!

Each and every child is a wondrous creation.

I have, on more than one occasion had the feeling of wanting to have  Lion King moment...you know, the scene where that creepy monkey holds up the baby lion for all the world to see. 

C'mon...tell me you haven't had the urge to do that! 

You know, hold up your kid high for all the world to see & yell at the top of your lungs, "HEY!!!  LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!!"  Bowing is optional.

Parenting is hard work.  Seriously, the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my whole entire life!  I take it extremely seriously.  To see them becoming decent, loving, God-fearing, kind, well-adjusted people is a deep source of pride for me.  However, I can never sit back and rest & say...look how good they are turning out...I think I'll take a break.  Because, unlike an unfinished sewing project, six months down the road, they won't be in the same place.  "Resting" while parenting can cause so much extra work! 

In the last 3 months, I have seen 2 of my creations completed.  It has been bittersweet, to put it mildly.

Occasionally, I will make a particularly beautiful dress for my little girls and, when they outgrow it, I feel  small sense of sadness at not having it on the scene anymore.  I cannot make them stop growing, though, I have even tried to bribe them.

That sense of sadness is nothing compared to watching your beautiful daughter, dressed in the purest white, walk down the aisle and give her heart to a young man. 

W.O.W! 

The pain is acute. 

But so is the pride.

That day, when I have sat and watched some of my finest creations pledge their life & love to another, has been the last time I had that Lion King moment.  There she was...for everyone to see.  So beautiful.  So poised.  So happy.  She loves God.  She is smart.  She has so much to offer.  AND she can cook!

I have never been more proud than that day.

I also have never hurt more. 

I received the compliments graciously.

There are still 6 more creations at home.  Works in progress. 

I will still have cause to hold up my babies and show the world..."LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!"

Bowing is optional.

Morgan & Enrique
January 23, 2015

 

 

 

 

Heather & Seth
May 2, 2015

***Special note:  This post is written from my standpoint, but is in no way meant to discount the role their Dad plays.  Just saying...****

Love & Marriage?

My wonderful 17 year old high school senior had to give a speech (her final one) last week at school.  Tonight, she read it to me.

 

  AHEM, I was impressed. 

So impressed, in fact, I decided to share it with all of you guys.

 

  The topic of her speech may not apply directly to you anymore, but, quite possibly, you may be facing the "dating dilemma" with your children soon (-er than you would like). 

I hope you enjoy...

 

 

 

 

Love and Marriage?

The wedding day had finally come. Joy and excitement coursed through Angie as she slowly strode toward her handsome groom. He gently took a hold of her hand and they turned in unison toward the minister. However, as they started repeating their vows to one another, the unthinkable happened. A young woman stood up in the audience, walked toward the groom, and latched herself to his arm. Angie’s eyes widened in shock as half a dozen other girls slowly made their way towards her groom. “Angie,” he started, “I love you, and you know I do. I have dated these girls in my past. They mean nothing to me now, but I foolishly gave a little piece of my heart to each one of them.”

            Angie looked at him, bewildered, and with tears in her eyes said, “But I thought your heart was mine…”

            “It is! All that’s left of it is yours.” With that, Angie woke up from her dream.

In 2011, there were 2,118,000 marriages in the United States. This means that 6.8 out of 1,000 people in the total population got married. “But,” we may ask, “How many divorces were there in 2011?” The divorce rate for that year is 3.6 out of 1,000 people in the population. This means that for all the marriages instituted that year, almost half that number became divorced within the year. Not only is this situation difficult, it is pure torture for the children involved – no matter how old they are. The home where you grow up is your foundation for the adult that you will become one day. Consequently, the home that you provide for your future children will be their founding structure of who they become.

 Why is that divorce rate so high, anyway? To put it bluntly, young adults start practicing “divorce” at a young age. They get together with someone; give away part – if not all – of their heart. Then, when the going gets too rough, they break up. On this scale, the most people that this breakup can seriously harm are two – the two young adults involved. It also harms the close family and friends of the couple. The relationship, and the ending of it, leaves scars that are not necessarily visible to the eye. Nevertheless, these deep hurts will be carried for the rest of that individual’s life. As a person gets older, though, the commitment is greater, and therefore might become a marriage contract. Sure, the first few years might go pretty well and you might have a child or two. But what happens when the going gets tough and one person gives up on the other? It becomes another typical breakup. However, this time the hurts are on a scale of such magnitude that it hurts many people, including the children. It rocks the foundation of their home and forever alters who they will one day become. They are forced to choose one parent over the other, causing further hurt and division in the family.

“How.” You may ask, “Can this possibly be avoided? Everyone dates! It’s just what people do.” No, that is what the world says we should do. However, we are Christians. Is there a better way? We are the children of the Most High God. Do you think He wants you to go through all the pain, hurt, scars, and rejection that this world goes through? Of course not! Right now, as a young adult, you need to decide what direction you want your life to take. The Bible says to “Choose you this day whom ye will serve.” And while this was Joshua speaking to the Israelites, God still wants us to make that decision. God’s purpose for you right now is to further your growth in Him as an individual. In Joshua Harris’ book, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”, he states that, “God gives us singleness – a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service – and we view it as a chance to get bogged down in finding and keeping boyfriends and girlfriends.” God has called us to a way of higher living. This does not mean that we’re snobs, it means that we preserve our hearts for the one person that God wants us to be with. And yes, that person is actually out there. If you truly want God’s best for your life, you’ll very willingly let Him choose the right person for you to be with. Do you trust Him? Wouldn’t you rather have the everlasting pleasure of being loved more than the fleeting version of it that leaves scars and hurt? The key is to give God our full attention, focus, and loyalty. Mr. Harris puts it like this, “Why would you change your habits/attitude towards dating? Because the Christian with his or her eyes on the goal of sincere and intelligent love will find throwing out the world’s approach as no great sacrifice. Hebrews 12:1 says to throw off the weights and sins that so easily beset us. The attitude and practices of our culture’s dating relationships are unnecessary baggage that weighs us down.”

“What’s the alternative? Loneliness? Lifelong singleness? NO! Choosing to quit the dating game – and yes, it is a game – doesn’t mean rejecting friendship, companionship, or marriage with the opposite sex; we just choose to pursue them on God’s terms and in His own time.”

“Although we don’t sin when we look forward to marriage, we might be guilty of poor stewardship of our singleness when we allow a desire for something God obviously doesn’t have for us yet to rob our ability to enjoy and appreciate what He has given us. Dating plays a role in this dissatisfaction because it gives single people just enough (closeness to another person) to make them wish they had more.”

Furthermore, you need to realize that life does not end at the wedding. The wedding is just the party. Real life begins when all the sparkle has faded and you are spending the rest of your life with one other person. Make the “option” of divorce not an option in your life. Choose wisely in your life mate – or better yet, let God choose for you. He created the universe with all its billions of beings; don’t you think He can give you the best person with which He wants you to spend the rest of your life with?

Opportunities To Improve...The Bubble Story

Have you ever heard something that totally changes everything? 

Maybe it was some preacher on the radio or TV (do they still have televangelists??). 

Maybe you read it in a daily devotional, or saw it on some annoying Facebook inspirational post.

For me, it was in church.  Isn't that what church is for?  Score one for church!!!

Here is what was said that socked me square between the eyes & left me sitting in my seat wondering if everyone could see my shame & humiliation:

"Remember that your children need as much mercy & grace each day as you do."

 

I know. 

 

Take a minute.

 

  Read it again.

 

 

  It's a cold glass of water to the face, isn't it??

 

 

 

He went on, of course, to include spouses & others that we come into contact with on a daily basis, but THIS was the one that got to me.

 

 

 

I would love to say right here that I have always known & done this & then go on to tell you what wonderful successes I have had with my kids as a result.

 

 

But I can't.

 

 

*Hangs head in shame*

 

 

The crazy thing is, I KNEW God KNEW I got it. 

 

He was looking right at me when I heard it & then said,

 

 "YOU GOT THAT?????  GOOD!!!" 

 

So much pressure when you KNOW that you have just been shown your ugly self in a personalized hand mirror.

 

 

 

So.  Now that I have established that I had an "A HA" moment in church last Sunday, let me give a pristine example of how God made sure I was paying attention.

 

 

Picture this:

 

 

Mom tells child (not named in order to protect the guilty innocent) to load dishwasher & start it after lunch. 

 

 

Story Background:

This has been unnamed child's chore for pretty stinking close to eternity, but child has EXTREME difficulties in remembering to do the job, therefore leaving us with NO clean dishes for dinner (remember, we use our entire set of multi-chipped, mismatched dishes at each meal).  In order to drive this chore into the said child's memory, many weeks of hand-washing (Mom!!!  Really??  I have to use my hands????) have occurred.

 

 

Back to my story.

 

 

After reminding child of their duties, Mom goes to lie down with the babies youngest children because THEY need a nap EVERY day.  Ahem.  It makes THEM nicer people in the afternoon.  True story.

 

 

I digress....

 

 

When Mom rises, cheerful & refreshed, she enters kitchen to see....bubbles. 

 

 

 

{LOTS & LOTS & LOTS of bubbles.}

 

 

Mom freaks.

 

(Please read this in calm, even tones as this is how I want you to think I did it....)

 

 

"What, exactly, was your thought process here????"

 

 

"We were out of dishwasher soap, so I put dish soap in there."

 

 

"No kidding.  Ummmm, why didn't you ASK if this was an ok substitute???"

 

 

"You were sleeping."

 

 

"Why didn't you just not start it since we were out of soap????"

 

 

"Because you always get upset & I didn't want to spend a month washing dishes by hand."

 

 

 

THERE.  Right there.

 

 

Did you see that?

 

 

THAT, my friends, was a healthy slap of guilty truth right across my face!!

 

 

Would someone PLEASE put down that incriminating mirror????

 

 

The child was correct, and respectful about it, even.  I do get upset.  I like things to run smoothly, like a well-oiled machine, which is why God gave me 8 kids (note to self:  do future blog on God's sense of humor.)

 

 

Whoops....digression....

 

 

When those words were uttered, I saw ME.  And I was embarrassed.  Then it happened, the words that were slammed in between my eyes the day before began dancing before my eyes.  This was my opportunity to show some grace for the mistake that had been made.  It was an honest mistake & one of those times that you think to yourself, "Self, why didn't you ever say that ONLY dishwasher soap is to be used in the dishwasher."  Oops.  My bad.  The child truly didn't know.  The child was trying to follow through with the job.  The child didn't want to be in trouble.  The child needed mercy.

 

 

Here it was:  OPPORTUNITY.

 

I had the opportunity to do this right.  So, I changed my tack.  I looked for the humor. 

 

WELL!  THERE IT WAS!!!  This situation was FULL of comedy!!! 

 

 

 

 

As I sat there surveying the massive quantities of bubbles, and wondered how do you clean this stuff up???, I realized that I had seen this only in movies.  And, they are just GONE in the next scene. 

 

Unfortunately, movies aren't a reliable source of reality, because, I didn't foresee a scene change coming up.

 

SO.......

 

I sent the kid for the shop-vac & as the said kid was preparing to suck up foam, I pointed out two new truths about their life:

 

1.  You now know all soaps are NOT created equal.

 

 

2.  You have just given the family permission to LAUGH about this for the remainder of your days.

 

 

The kid & I laughed together at the validity of these two statements.  Ha Ha Ha.

 

 

The kid started telling me what I could do to help with the clean-up, to which I laughed (we were, after all, already at the point of seeing the humor in the situation) and replied,

 

"Ummm, NO.  I wouldn't want you to be robbed of the valuable lesson of cleaning up this mess."

 

 

I'm cool like that.

 

 

Object lessons ROCK!!!

 

 

Today is a new day & that SAME kid will be home in a few hours, and will MOST LIKELY need more mercy today as this kid is particularly needy in this area. 

 

 

I hope I remember BEFORE I freak out, because THAT would be progress!!!



Wash Day

I get asked questions a LOT. 

I guess I should specify that I am talking about questions from adults as I am sure you aren't interested in the 17.423 BILLION questions I get from my kiddos each day!  

Of course the all-time NUMBER ONE question I get asked is:

 

Are ALL these kids yours?!?!?   ***"Ummm...yes?"***

 

Followed closely (by the rude ones) with:

 

"Same dad?"   ***"YES!!!"***

 

RUDE!!

 

The SECOND most-asked question is:

 

"How in the world do you manage with 8 kids?"

 

Oh!  That's an EASY one (pick me, PICK ME!!!)

 

"One word:  GOD.  The end."

 

Since both of those questions (assuming you wouldn't be one of the rudies to ask about my baby daddy), are now both answered & settled, then I guess this post can be over. 

 

Nah...that's too easy!

 

After the nosy questions, come the more practical ones like the one I am actually blogging about today:

 

How do you manage all of that laundry???

 

Whew!  That one is so much easier to stomach, although not one I can easily answer in a casual conversation in the aisle of Wal-Mart.  Especially since,  I don't have the pictures with me to make it more interesting!

 

So, now you know the topic of this blog for today...it's decision time...

 

Do I want to keep reading & wonder if my life will be permanently  altered?

 

OR

 

Do I just not care how all of those kids stay looking & smelling clean?

 

For those of you who would like to be enlightened, here we go.... (for the others...see you next time).

 

 

 

 

This is the meager wall of décor in my room of toil.  It is meant to cheer the place up, but let's face it, laundry isn't cheery.  Although, I do confess...I really do not mind doing laundry!  For reals!!

 

Dusting...well....I enjoy drawing pictures in dust...but not cleaning it up.  Don't judge.

 

I have a method for my madness:  a schedule.  For those of you who know me well, stop rolling your eyes.  For the rest of you, go ahead, be impressed...the others are just rude.

 

Here it is:

 

Mondays:  Towels & Linens & such

 

Tuesdays: Mine & hubby's (and most of the little girl's) laundry from the basket in my bathroom.

 

Wednesday: Kiddos #3-#8's laundry

 

Thursday: Iron & have them put away

 

Friday: Uniforms

 

Saturday: NOPE

 

Sunday: NEVER on a Sunday.

 

OH, and rarely in the evening, although I have been known to throw something in overnight.

 

 

SIDE NOTE:

If you are wondering about girlies number 1 & 2, well, I do believe that 17 & 19 year old young women can take care of their own laundry.  We are fortunate to have an older set of washer & dryer at our guest/game house so they go there unless they can sneak under my laundry radar & put a load in & push GO before I yank their ears. (Their clothing tends to ahhh....linger....in the machines....)  Before we got a new set & moved the old ones next door, the girls had assigned days to do their clothing, usually the weekend.

 

First Things First:  Sorting

 

I would like to say, the following system works like a charm.  Goes off with out a hitch.  Floats like a butterfly (?)

 

It really isn't flawless considering the users, but it is a HUGE help to me, to say the least.

 

Here it is, in all it's brilliance:

 

 

Laundry baskets!!!

 

I know, RIGHT??? 

 

Take a moment to compose yourself, I'll wait.

 

Seriously, there is a method here that may not be instantly obvious to the casual observer.  Here's what we know that you don't:

 

1.  The basket in the foreground is for JEANS ONLY.  Not random denim.  Not blue jean skirts.  Not a denim shirt.  Jeans.  Just.  Jeans.  With three rapidly growing boys who like to do all manner of disgustingly boyish stuff, it was a great idea to relegate one whole basket for this purpose.  They get nasty.  I don't want to sort nasty.  The end.

 

2. The next basket is relegated to DARK CLOTHES. This is a fuzzy area for the smallish & uneducated bunch, but they get it right more often than not.  Really.  When I first set these baskets up, I tied bits of ribbon, fabric or embroidery floss in the colors that I wanted to see in these baskets.  This went a long way towards the success of this program.  It was also educational...and, hey, that scores one for me in the amazing mom category, right?  Anyway, dark clothes can also be heavier stuff like jackets in the winter.  I may or may not do a further sort depending on how much is in there on Wednesdays.

 

 

 

3.  Next comes the BRIGHT CLOTHES basket.  See above for how I let them know what I wanted to see in here.  Then keep reading as to the success of said plan. 

 

4.  Now we come to the LIGHT CLOTHES basket.  Surprisingly, this is the one they make the least mistakes with.  I guess brights & darks are a bit random for the elementary crowd to differentiate.  Anyway, until this week, this is where the undies, jammies, socks & the like have found their resting spot.  Now, we have a new plan for the undies & socks & the basket is for all other light colored clothing that don't fall in the sock/undie category.

 

5.  The very last basket by the refrigerator is for TOWELS, CLEANING RAGS, & APRONS.  I believe that list is pretty self-explanatory.

 

And THAT, in a nutshell, is how our laundry is sorted by the little people in our home.  I do have to make some adjustments as I wash &, when I see a consistent faux pas, I call them all in the laundry room & point out the discrepancy & how to avoid it next time.  That's all it takes!!  I mean, after the 4th or 5th time, that is.

 

 

UNDIES & SOCKS: A SOLUTION

 

Problem:  Socks & Underwear.  'Nuff said, right?

 

In our house, the middle crowd's unmentionables are crazy hard to tell what belongs to who & sizes & such.  To me, THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT AREA NOT TO GET CONFUSED ON!!!!

 

Two words:  shared.  underwear.

 

Excuse me while I run to throw up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, I'm good.

 

 

 

Anyway, it was a rather troubling situation & one that I could not always count on the proper owners to step up & correct. 

 

Oh. 

 

And.

 

I HATE.

 

To sort socks. 

 

The end.

 

I got a heavenly inspiration one day (or it could have been inspired by Pinterest, but, seriously, what IS the difference?)

 

Here it is:

 

 

 

Be amazed.

 

Grab a tissue.

 

Go ahead & be moved.

 

*sigh* A thing of true beauty. 

 

All I do is take these babies off the hook, zip 'em up, toss 'em in &, when dry, hand the bag to the kiddo to put away.  I did myself proud this time.  I won't even try to be humble about it.  I have amazed me.

 

Here is the breakdown of this beauteous idea:

 

1.  A magnetic curtain rod (I found this at Big Lots).

 

2.  The side of something metal (I used a refrigerator)

 

3.  Mesh laundry bags (Dollar Store)

 

4.  Embroidery floss (or ribbon)

 

5. Shower curtain hooks (cheap...don't remember where)

 

Each child already has a color that they associate with things that are theirs (drinking cups...). So, I just used those colors.  I wove (weaved?)  it through the holes & the zipper pull.

 

I explained to the kiddos that, when they take off their undies/socks, rather than put them in the laundry basket, they will put them in their own personalized laundry bag.  I told them what my role was in this plan & what I expected from them when my turn was over.  We all shook hands & agreed it was an amazing plan & moved forward. 

 

ahem....

 

It has worked like a charm!!!  HIGH FIVE ME!!!!

 

NEXT UP: FOLDING/HANGING/IRONING & PUTTING AWAY

 

This may be where I lose more of you.  I do understand that the washing & drying of laundry is necessary, otherwise we would all walk around in our birthday suits....ewwwwwww!!!!

However, some of you (you know who you are) find the next area negotiable...iffy, even.  Hey, you might even see drying your clothes as optional.  I know who you are...I see you a miiiile away.

 

Anyway, I cannot STAND laundry that is not completed.  Maybe it's the sheer massiveness of the piles 'round here.  Maybe it's my OCD to just get a job finished. 

 

DISCLAIMER: Just because I say all of this DOES NOT in any way mean that I always do this.  However, this is my blog, so I can lead you to believe I am perfect, if I wanna.

 

So, in a perfect world (or even a decent week), here's what I do:

 

As I pull the clothing from the dryer, I immediately hang or fold them.  This much is 100% true.  I do this every time.

 

 

 

As I hang the clothing, I separate the ones that need ironing...all the while wondering: How in the world did this make it into our closets????  This, I do about 90% of the time.

 

 

 

 

 

Then...here's where the percentages drop drastically)...I iron them & have the owner put them away.  I am somewhere in the 75 percentile on this one.  I do, however, rarely go more than 2 weeks without completing this process or breaking down and paying a teenager-type person to do it for me.  It's a win-win situation. 

 

I really don't mind ironing.  I like the instant gratification of it all. 

 

Wrinkle! 

Be Gone! 

Boom! 

Done. 

Boo-YAH!

 

Ironing is made even better when you own this baby:

 

 

Oh, yeah....best invention ever!

 

Notice my little iron cubby...cute, isn't it?  That part comes with the unit.  However, the nifty little button at the top is my amazing husband's input.  See, whenever the door comes open, the switch is activated & the plug is turned on, which means the iron is turned on (and vice versa when the door is closed!) ANNNNND, when the door opens, the light automatically comes on, too.  Oh, my!  SWOON!!!!

 

 

 

I will put in an unpaid ad here: save the coins you find in the pockets while doing laundry & buy yourself a Rowenta iron.  It's worth every single penny!!

 

As for the stuff that I fold, I put them in piles....miles & miles of piles on my dining room table.  At their spot.

They may not eat until the clothing is properly put away.  Score one for mom!

 

 

That may be all...I think it is.

 

In case you are wondering, no, I don't have a large laundry room.  Here are some photos from different angles showing off the set-up.  It's not Pinterest-worthy, but it is a very hard working room in our home.

 

The view from our back door into the laundry room.  The door on the left leads to the kitchen.  The door at the end leads to the hallway leading to the kiddo's rooms.

This is the view from the hallway towards the back door.

One other thing.  My washer & dryer are a Whirlpool Duet.  It's my second set.  Yes, they are expensive.  Yes, they are worth it.  I got my first set (now the older one next door) 11 years ago, and I still haven't worn them totally out!  When I went to get a newer model....I stayed with what worked for me.  I highly recommend the front-loading machines (plus, they can be stacked....saving room).  No, I did not receive any compensation for this advertisement.  Zip.  Zilch.  Nada.

 

 

This is a total Pinterest hack that has been one of the bestest things ever!  I use this shoe hanger for all sorts of stuff!

Here is my view whilst folding laundry at the dryer....right out at the pond.  Makes the job just a bit more pleasant, I think.

Ok, I believe that is enough about the Young's dirty laundry.

 

 

 

A Leap of Faith....

 

Have you ever wanted to reach a goal, a very HIGH goal, and you KNEW you could do it with diligence on your part, but you were too afraid of the results IF you achieved the goal?

 

Sounds rather convoluted, I know, but that sentence pretty much describes what I've been going through for the past 6 months, and much more intensely for the last week.

 

 

I normally keep this blog pretty light & even humorous, but today, I have a lot of rather deep things on my mind. 

 

Goals, dreams, destinations...they are exciting & new.  Some of them, we know exactly what to expect when we arrive.  Some have promise, but no definite outline.

 

For instance, at the end of 4 years of high school, you graduate.  A wonderful, exciting goal.  Also, a scary, confusing time. 

 

What comes next? 

 

What do you want to be when you "grow up"?

 

A wonderful time of accomplishment can also be rife with fear & uncertainty.

 

 

On the other hand, planning a trip to Disney World, is a pretty sure bet of good things to come!  No fears, no worries (except how to pay for it). 

 

These are both lofty goals & great achievements, if reached, but the emotions involved can be very different.

 

I guess, I should stop beating around the bush & just come out & say what's on my heart....

 

 

God, Jesus, the Church....have all been in my heart & a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember.  I have loved the Lord for as long as I can remember.  I don't ever remember a time where I didn't WANT to have Him in my life. 

 

However, a walk with God requires taking steps.

 

So, I've done the baby steps....I gave up the biggies that displeased Him.  I quit murdering, drinking, carousing, smoking dope....hey, those were no problem. :)

 

I have reached a place where things that bothered me as a younger person, no longer even phase me.  That's growth, too.

 

I feel that God has been asking more of me.  He wants MORE of my heart, MORE of me.  I have known this for a while now.

 

 

But, I'm scared.

 

Yeah, probably sounds crazy, but I'm being honest here.

 

Will He take care of me?

 

Will He catch me?

 

Will He make serving Him comfortable? (prolly not!)

 

Yesterday, we said goodbye to a wonderful friend.  I don't believe in making saints out of people after they pass, but this man was truly good.  He had many qualities in his life that I envy (whoops, one of the big 10....).

 

He never complained-even when in extreme pain.

He always made God his first choice, even when it would have been easier to stay home in bed.

He gave his all. Always.

He was selfless.

 

Um....I miiiiiigggght pull one or two of those out of the hat a couple of times a year, but not consistently by any means.

 

Sigh.  And therein lies my problem.

 

 

See...I don't like to suffer.  True story.  I like ease.  I like things my way.

 

Then I read about Job.  Sigh again.  I really don't think sackcloth and ashes are for me.  Boils???  Noooope.  Losing my stuff....well, I could deal with that.  Losing my kids?  There's the kicker.  THAT'S what I'm afraid of (I may be just a teensie bit MORE afraid of getting them back doubly!!).

 

Seriously, I know that serving God is a very rewarding life.  I also know that I cannot live in such a way that I benefit from the blessings, but never share in the burdens.  I hate to cry.  I have cried more in the last few years than in all the rest combined.  God created us to be emotional beings, but I just don't enjoy hurt.

 

 

Here's the bare bones of my dilemma:

 

Go on farther with a mighty God, knowing that trials, sufferings & heartaches may (most likely will) be interspersed (liberally) throughout my blessings, but that

the quality of the blessings will outweigh the trials.

 

 

OR

 

 

Sit right here on my white picket fence with one leg on each side leaning more to the side that feels most comfy for the moment. 

 

I have never thought of myself as a "fence-sitter" Christian.  And maybe I haven't always been.  There have been moments of total devotion. 

 

But somewhere along the road, as it has become more bumpy, the storms more fierce, the sorrows more painful, I found me a nice smooth section of fence & climbed right up there & made myself at home.

 

Deep in my soul, I know which side I will climb down on, but the jump from where I'm sitting to where I need to be is pretty steep & I'm afraid.  Fear is NOT of the Lord. 

 

This, I know. 

 

However, from where I sit....it's pretty scary.

 

 

Will You catch me???

 

I hear a whisper in my soul......

 

 

 

 

 

 

"YES!"

WWK (Walmart With Kids)

Worst.  Decision.  Ever.


My question to my older daughter & her resulting answer was the beginning of the ruin of my day.

"I must go grocery shopping today,

do you want to go or stay home?"

 

 

Her answer:

 

 

"Go."

 

 

"No problem, we'll all go", I said.

 

"It will be great", I said.

 

"I got this", I said.

 

 

Oh, and I have to get this done in one hour because I have to meet someone at 11:15 (I got this, remember?).  I have my handy-dandy list which I made according to the pre-created menu for all meals in June .  Very tidy.  In & out.

 

Problemo numero uno:

 

The grocery list which I have created based on the WalMart closest to my house & the route I ALWAYS take while in the store (OCD much?), is completely null and void at a different WalMart.

I chose to go to a different location because of the meeting that was taking place at 11:15....

 

Problemo numero dos:

 

I took kids.

 

 

 

So, in order to make you feel better about your life, here's how my trip went:

 

 

Unload kids.  Assign a portion to the elder sister (the easier ones, I kept the problematic ones).

 

Enter store.  Tell elder sister to take a portion of the list & meet me by the milk when she's done.

 

I rush through my area before heading to the meeting place.  Leaving kids standing where they were (touching merchandise I SPECIFICALLY told them NOT to touch), because I will ONLY say, "Come on" once, then they have to hunt for me.

 

Then, my phone rings (I don't like to take calls while shopping, I don't shop & solve world problems at the same time very efficiently, so I have to stop what I'm doing & listen....), it's eldest daughter.  The cat is shooting diarrhea all over her room like a water sprinkler, and she is beyond frustrated.  So, I navigate clothing racks, help elder son choose new swim trunks & swim shirt from the "Cheap" rack, give him dirty looks as he looks at the "privileged folks" racks, point vehemently at the cheap rack & motion decapitation if he doesn't comply, while talking calmly to the particularly emotional person on the phone & trying to figure out the digestive tract issues of a kitten.

 

Problem solved, cheap swim clothes chosen....on to the dairy dept.

 

Tell elder son to get 2 gallons of 2% milk.  He gets one.  Really????

 

Tell lil guy I can make 15 gallons of Jell-O for the price of the pre-packaged ones, and NO I do not care that those are more fun.

 

When did cheese go up??  $3 for Parmesan.  Guess I don't need it.

 

No, we are not close to the bakery.  No, we cannot buy a free cookie.

 

Yes, honey, I would be very embarrassed if my kid screamed like that in the store.

 

PLEASE, stop practicing to scream....I WILL spank you...even though that kid got away with it.

 

You stay here with the basket, I'll walk over here & get what I need.  HEY!  WHERE ARE YOU GOING????

 

Hey you, Run back 2 aisles & get a container of salt.  Not gourmet.  Just plain ole salt. 

 

Where will I be? I'm turning left from this aisle.  ( I turn right.  Hee hee hee.  Took him 5 minutes to find me.)

 

What time is it?  OH!  We have 20 min to finish up & load up & I'm nearly done!  Yay!

 

No, I don't know what that mystery package of stuff is on the ethnic food aisle.

 

Oops, forgot the pancake mix....run back please...I'll be in produce.  For reals.

 

No, they don't have cuties.  Yes, we can get belly button oranges instead. 

 

Stop smelling every single package of strawberries.  They ALL smell good. 

 

Am I worth a $3 carton of blueberries?  Ewww...they have mold on them.

 

I need 8 ripe avocados....is that too much to ask???  These could be stones!!

 

Ok....we are done....to the registers.

 

I am very picky with the bagging process.  She does it wrong.  She is slow.

 

No, you can't have any gum.

 

No, you cant have the cute package of Kleenex.

 

No, you can't have beef jerky.

 

Yes, please get the van pulled up, that would be great.

 

OOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!! I ram my arm on the empty DVD display by the register.  My arm goes numb.  My fingers begin to tingle.

 

I am NOW officially in a bad mood. 

 

It took me longer this time.  Is that progress?

 

Now my neck hurts from my arm injury.

 

I yell at kids in WalMart.  I feel like I fit in.

 

We load up the groceries in the recesses of the van, because I need the back for the 11:15 meeting.

 

All in!  Let's go! 

 

Why are the interior lights on? 

 

Son, close the back hatch.  Hellllloooo....open it, & reclose.  STOP BANGING ON THE DOOR!!!

 

Fine, I'll do it.  Done.

 

I am now soaked with sweat, mad, hurting, $200 poorer, hungry & just plain exhausted.

 

But, we make the meeting.  I am now the proud owner of 2 old, wood-framed windows ripe for some adorable craft/decorating project & I scored them for a mere $6 each!  Boo-ya.

 

Now, I am home, the cat is loudly protesting his confinement to the carpet-less room, the groceries are put away, the boys are gagging me with the smell of the sardines I let them talk me in to buying.  DISGUSTING.

 

I have cooled off...some.  My arm hurts.  I'm still hungry.

 

Thanks for reading, I feel a bit better for having written it down.