Wonder-FULL Wednesday: Job - Epic Fail!

I know some of you may have wondered where I have been the last couple of weeks.  Well, I've been here.  At home.  Having the time of my life.  Not the best time of my life, mind you...but it has definitely been "A" time of my life.

About 3 months ago, hubby & I made the decision for him to take a new job.  Hallelujah!!!  After 10 years of being self-employed, someone else would worry about taxes & payroll.  We have insurance and a regular paycheck deposited right in our account.  It's amazing....amazingly horrible.

You know, I have always been a believer in being careful what you ask of God because He might just give it to you.  I think that was the case here. 

Don't get me wrong, there were lessons learned from this experience, but when hubby announced that he was putting in his resignation....cheers went up all over the house!!!

So, what was wrong with the job?

Let me put it this way: in the month of October, he was home 5 days total.  Yeah.  Awful!  We knew that there would be some travel with this position, but it was estimated at 2 or 3 nights at a time.  Hmmmmm....we won't go into some long tirade about streeeeeeetching the truth.  Suffice it to say...it was a tad more.  Like twice as much.  Every week.

Meanwhile, back on the home front....

I started out doing great!  We had a plan, a schedule...it was all good.  Then came October.

As his schedule got more & more crazy, so did I.  I found I couldn't even enjoy him being home because I was already panicking about him leaving again.

Physically, I felt ill.  Exhaustion was taking a firm hold in my life.  Complete.  Utter.  Exhaustion.

I finally reached a place where I began to feel anxious & trapped.  Parenting 8 children with a partner is tough stuff.  Doing it alone: impossible.

Yes, my kids are great, but they are still kids.  They have constant, unending needs.  My days were a constant mental challenge.  My brain hurt.  The younger ones had gotten out of control...badly.  In short, I had gone into survival mode.  The highlights of my day were naptime & bedtime.

This past Saturday night, when I found out he wouldn't be making it home in time for church...I just fell apart.  When he came home & saw my status....he saw it as the sign he'd been looking for to resign.

Oh, the great relief!!!  I cannot explain how I felt.  I'm not sure I have fully comprehended it.  My body is still out of whack from the stress & anxiety I had been feeling.

I in no way want to put my husband in a bad light.  This time was miserable for him too.  We had prayed, counseled & really tried to put God first in the decision to take this job.  Maybe it was the right thing to do so that we would see that it was the wrong thing for us.

So, we are back to self-employment & the phone is ringing like crazy!!!  New opportunities are steadily presenting themselves.

God is good.  Yes He is!

We have grown from this experience.  We have learned more about faith.  I have learned that I cannot parent alone.  Maybe I could have done some things differently, but I now have a new appreciation for my husband's strength of presence.  Just having him here gives me strength to do what I need to do to be a good mom.

Do you find yourself in an impossible situation?

Have you prayed about it?

Faithfully.

Every. Single. Minute. of Every. Single. Day?

Is He answering by asking you to give up something that gives you a sense of security?  Find your peace & security in Him....it's the only REAL peace & security you'll ever have.

My God is real.  I feel like I am recovering from a 3 month long illness.  Sometimes, I can feel the darkness creeping back in, but I have the strength to fight it because we are where we are supposed to be.

So, the moral of the story:

Make sure it's God's will & not your will.  If it's His will...YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!


Disclaimer:  I am not advocating that you make a sudden major decision because you are unhappy.  I am simply telling you my testimony...

It's a Crazy Life!!

I really don't know what I'm going to ramble on about tonight, but I just felt the urge to blog. I have been sitting here in my quiet house, listening to the hum of the refrigerator running (better go catch it!! LOL), hearing a random beep (and wondering what it is, but not enough to go find out), and catching up on my blog reading. I find myself wondering what we did before the invention of the internet (should I ask Al Gore???). I feel like I am so much more in contact with friends who are miles away. Texting, emails, blogs...all make the world a much smaller place. I, for one, just love it :) However, (isn't there always one of those?) I find that I do lack discipline in utilizing these wonderful inventions...if I'm not careful. There are legitimate things that can be done on a computer, and I do plenty of them, but the temptation to just "check" on everyone else is sometimes more than I can handle.

"What's the big deal?", you may ask.

Well, as you may or may not know, I have 2 toddlers here & even just a few minutes of my attentions being distracted from them can lead to hours of frustrating clean-up, including, but CERTAINLY not limited to: salt all over the dining room table & floor, completely unrolled toilet paper tubes, a brand-new 15 piece pack of gum...completely gone, with wrappers on the floor, all of the clean laundry unfolded & all over the house...I could go on & on & on & on..... So, when all eyes are not on them, the girls get into mischief...to say the least. And, when they do, I am forced to put away what was so enthralling to me to deal with the very real evidence of my distraction. UGH~ I have been feeling somewhat convicted about spending time on my computer, or anything, really, that pulls me away from my # 1 priorities. Don't get me wrong-I don't think there is anything wrong with reading a good book or magazine, or surfing the web in search of the best deal on shoes, books, fabric or whatever (after all, I AM trying to SAVE money!). What is wrong (at least for me), is the lack of discretion in the amount of time I spend doing it. I start out with good intentions, "Just 10 minutes...I need to check on banking, send an email, check the weather..." Then, 30 minutes later--there's a crash (or total silence, which, to me, is WAY scarier) & I'm brought back to real life with a thud! I decided the best way, for me, to handle this & to still feel connected with the outside world, was to make myself a daily schedule. Something like: 6:00 Wake & Shower 6:15 Read Bible 6:33 Pray 6:48 Have a moment of silence 7:00 Kiss all the little cherubs good morning on their perfectly clean faces & admire their tidy attire & hair. 7:30 Join the happy crowd at the table for a hearty breakfast . . . . . . . . 10:00 p.m. Fall happily into bed with a contented *sigh* at the end of an overly productive day. Ummmmmm....

Yeah, right!

So...well, what happened was....

LIFE!

A carefully regimented day like the one mentioned above (possibly without the sarcasm) is truly what would make me happy. However (there it is again), I have learned the hard way that life happens. It's messy. It's unpredictable. It's exciting. It's boring. It's just next to impossible to schedule out all of the things that happen during a day when you have kids in residence. So, I gave up. Um-hmm. You heard (read?) me right. I quit trying to be the organized on-schedule micro-managing momma & just chillaxed. Please, don't get an image in your head of me languishing on the sofa, romance novel in hand, bon-bons & iced tea on a table nearby as my little ones swing from the chandelier (read ceiling fan) & I blissfully cheer them on ... Uh. No. I just have relaxed. I have a loosely scheduled existance now that looks something like this: Monday: Wash towels & linens. Clean kitchen. Make grocery list... Tuesday: Wash our clothing. Iron. Put Away. Clean bathroom. Wednesday: Wash kids clothes. Put dinner in the crock pot. Thursday: Sit & wait anxiously for 5:00 to arrive because it's DATE NIGHT! Friday: Get out of the house & go somewhere. Wash school clothes. Saturday: Um....I dunno...whatever comes our way. Sunday: Wrangle everyone out of the bed by 9 & have a 2 hour cleaning session. Cook lunch, go to church & be grateful we get to go out for dinner tonight.

Somehow...this works.

If you stop by unexpectedly (& maybe even expectedly), you will not find a pristine show home. You will find a reasonably clean, aside from the occasional toy on the floor (just step around it) home. The kitchen is *usually* clean, it's one area I'm pretty strict about. The only bathroom I can totally vouch for is mine...so ask to use it LOL *seriously*. You may find laundry in the works on pretty much any given day. You will also find sometimes strangely dressed children with big ol smiles on their *sometimes dirty* faces who will probably overrun you with questions & stories of their latest adventures, whether real or imagined. You need not take your shoes off...I've never been able to train anyone else but me to do it, why should you...but please wipe them off first. I hate to mop! I may get distracted & forget to ask if you'd like a drink--just ask for one. Then, relax & enjoy our crazy life.

That's what I do.

Object Lessons

"If you woke up tomorrow

with only the things that

you thanked God for yesterday,

what would you be left with?"

I know....WOW!

I wish I could say that this thought-provoking question was a Denise original, but...it's not. I read this as a post on Facebook this week, and it has stuck in my brain all week long.

In fact, I can say that I have been more prone to praying without ceasing this week!

Everytime something pops into my head that I am thankful for, I say a little grateful prayer.

Yes, I am mature enough in my walk with the Lord to know that He wouldn't take all the things away from me that I forgot to thank Him for....at least not overnight. However, yet again, I have to consider this question from the stand point of a parent & child.

Many years ago, I was shopping with one of my children & we happened upon some cute little skirts. We hadn't planned to shop for skirts, but she did need one & the price was right. So, we took several of them into the fitting rooms & tried them on. Well, she had her heart set on one in particular for no other reason than it came with a glittery belt. However, it did NOT look good on her, so I told her no. I did tell her we would get the one that looked adorable on her. She was less than thrilled. We went to the check out line & had to wait for a bit until our turn. During the wait, she was behaving a whole lot LESS than grateful for the purchase I was about to make for her. So much so, that I decided an object lesson was in order. As our turn came, I told the lady that we had decided not to get the skirt after all, and then had my daughter return it to the rack. She was devastated! While it wasn't the one she wanted, she DID want it. She cried & begged...totally changing her story when it was being taken away.

She did not get a skirt that day.

And she remembers that lesson in gratefulness to this day!

I must ask....does God use object lessons with His kids?

From experience, I can say He does.

What if I am pouting because things aren't going the way I felt they should?

What if I grumble & complain about living in a huge double-wide mobile home with a doable payment (which I do NOT...but, for the sake of making a point....) because I had drawn up the plans for the house I wanted & THAT is the ONLY thing I think I'll be happy with!!! What if He gave me everything I thought I needed?? Whew! The house payment, the cleaning, the maintenance...

What if I constantly complained (...I have been guilty of this one...but not 'constantly') about the number of children God chose to BLESS us with?

WHICH ONES WOULD I BE CONTENT TO LIVE WITHOUT????

No, I never dreamed of mothering 8 kids, but I can't imagine NOT mothering them, either! I am truly grateful for the object lessons I learn almost daily from this task God has given me.

What do I need to be grateful for?

Only EVERYTHING!

I can truly say that I am even grateful for the hard times He has brought us through. We are stronger for it.

Thank you, Lord...

for the sunshine

for birds

for color

for kids

for laughter

for tears

for food

for pain

for teenagers

for our land

for our home

for smells

for giving yourself for us

for....

Oh...sorry....

Your turn....... :)

More Summertime Musings

My Sweet Lil' Girls on the 4th of July

Our Holiday Weekend

To say that we have been crazy busy would, in fact, be a gross understatement! I do believe that this has been the busiest summer we have ever had. I am beginning to see some relaxation on the horizon, though. WHEW!

Our wonderful friends came for only 1 night last week, but we so enjoyed their company, we followed them to Houston to celebrate the 4th of July! We really had a great time visiting with friends & family that we haven't seen in a while. We went to church, ate, went to church, ate, played @ the church, ate...food was everywhere!

Sometimes, going back where you came from gives you such a clear view of what God has done in your life. We both grew up in Houston, and never really had any plans to leave there. However, one day, we decided to move, and we have NEVER regretted it. We love our life here in the country!

Number 7&8 in the field behind our home





Book Recommendations & Reviews Page

I am an avid reader, and I have a stack of books & a mental list of other titles that I want to read at all times. I will admit to really liking a good love story as much as anything else, but, I do try to put other more, shall we say, intellegent information into my head as well. :)
One of the best gifts I have ever received is my Kindle. A Kindle is an electronic library of sorts. It utilizes e-books & I can download any of thousands of books in about 30 seconds from Amazon.com. Plus, with free samples of each book, I can try new stuff that I might not have ever tried before. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
Anyway, I have a friend who posts books that her family is reading on her blog, and I have found this to be a great way to hear about new stuff. So, I would like to share with my plethora of readers (LOL) the books that have moved me in some way or another. I hope this will be a helpful feature of my blog. Please, if you try one that I suggest or if you have already read it, put a comment!


Thoughts & Other Stuff

I have truly been feeling overwhelmed recently with gratitude towards my wonderful God! He has made Himself so real to me & my family that I just find myself tearing up while driving down the road.

Why would He choose us?

I was introduced to the idea recently (through reading) that we are physically incapable of understanding God's thinking. For us, we just have to have the faith that He DOES love us. Sometimes, it is hard to believe that, especially when things, seemingly, aren't going our way.
We have been going through something with one of our kiddos in trying to help them rise to the challenges of responsibility. Unfortunately, this hasn't been going too smoothly for them. As adults, we know firsthand the sorrows that will come from not being diligent in your labors, or what slothfulness can do to your reputation. A child has no knowledge of this,and, as a result has real difficulty believing their parent's words in this regard. So, as good parents, we have talked 'til we are blue in the face. Laying it all out, complete with drawings & diagrams.
Cause & effect.
If, then.
Still...disbelief.
Finally, something drastic needed to happen-a 2x4 to the head, so to speak. I tell you, as a mom, I just hate, Hate, HATE to do this to my children! Why can't they JUST BELIEVE my words?

Why can't they just HAVE FAITH??

oops.

yeah.

sounds familiar.

God is the best parent ever, so, of course He would have the same types of thoughts regarding His kids (i.e. me & you). Why, oh why, does He love me even when the 2x4 up side my head doesn't work? Why is He so patient with me? Why are we so lovingly patient with our kids?

*sigh*

I just love God, don't you? :)

Staycation: Day 2

Things That Made Me Happy Today.....
1. Squeezy hugs from my chubby 1 year old
2. Listening to #'s 4,5, & 6 squeal with unbridled joy as they bungee jumped at the mall (totally made the highway robbery prices worth it!)
3. Making homemade pizzas with my kiddos & STILL staying on WW!
4. Air Conditioning
5. Knowing that my teen-aged daughters are at a church meeting & there is NO WHERE else on earth they'd rather be!

I have seen this little exercise on a nother blog that I enjoy looking at (http://www.kinderkouture.net/), and I think it is a very uplifting thing to do. In truth, I had many aggrivating moments today, too, but, when I look back & pull out only the bright spots, I find that THEY outshine the duller moments.

This was day 2 of our "staycation". I have promised the kids that stayed home with me that we would do something fun every day. Today, it was a trip to the mall for bungee jumping. they were so excited they couldn't stand it. The little guys had done it before, but L hadn't ever been dressed appropriately for that activity. Today, she donned her capris & off we went! Let me say, those people are making a KILLING! They charge $7 for THREE minutes!!!!! I mean, really! There were absolutely NO other kids waiting! But, I paid it, snapped the pictures with the album in mind & reveled in their laughter. It almost made me want to do it, too, but.....I wasn't dressed appropriately :p LOL

After a much-needed nap (which I TOTALLY enjoyed), we made homemade pizzas. Here's what we did:

Take whole-wheat pitas, brush lightly with olive oil (I also seasoned my pita at this point with some Tuscan seasoning-yum). Put about 1/4 cup of pizza sauce on pita, and then sprinkle with desired amount of mozzerella cheese (if you're on WW, be careful here). Then add your favorite toppings (be careful here, too!) My pizza had: Minced Garlic, Baby Spinach, Fresh Tomatoes, Red Onion, Bell Peppers, and about 1 piece of Canadian Bacon. We baked @ 375 for about 15 minutes & ate our fabulous creations with a salad. *SIGH* So good....

To be continued.....