Parental Blackmail

If you have missed me, well, I am baaaaaack!!!  Hahaha...

I vowed to myself not to apologize *again* for not writing on here for an absolute eternity.  So, I won't .

To me, Blogging = Fun.  So, if I sit in my comfy red chair, pull out my laptop & proceed to ignore all of my other responsibilities pour my heart out to the great internet void, then I have that nagging feeling of "shouldn't I be doing something useful?".

My solution: block time on my calendar each week to devote to doing this & then it isn't a waste of time, it's what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. :)

 

Problem solved. 

 

I hope.

 

 

 

I have had such an eventful summer....I'm sure....but I can't remember any real specifics, & I don't really want to talk about that anyway.  Let's suffice it to say, Summer 2012 was crazy busy & we were all glad to slow down & get back to school! 

 

 

One thing I do know for sure, is that, behavior-wise, the kiddos were MUCH better than in past years!  Yay!  In the interest of keeping it real, I will confess that I was totally DREADING the summertime. Seven kids in the house....all day long...every day....for 12 weeks.  Nope, not a recipe for quiet & meditation.  About 3 weeks before school let out, I began formulating a plan. 

 

I've never been real big on rewarding expected behavior.  I mean, breathing is reward enough for being an obedient child, RIGHT? 

 

Apparently not. 

 

 

I had a plan for sanity.

 

 

Heee heee heeeeeeee.....

 

 

Here it is in a nutshell:

     1. There was a chore sheet. 

I just picked up some grid-type thingies at the local teacher's supply store (in fact, all of my supplies came from there) and some small stickers to coordinate.  I wrote the chore down the side & the day of the week across the top. 

 

I kept it simple:

     Make bed, brush hair, put jammies away, set table, etc...

     Do chore = get sticker

     Simple

 

     2. There was a behavior/character system.

This was the BIG DEAL.  This was what I really wanted to work on. 

 

Again, in another nutshell:

  They each had a large star with their name on it. 

  They had an assigned number of smaller stars affixed to the large one with Velcro.  The older they were, the fewer chances stars they had.

  Bad behavior/character = star removal.

  Star removal = loss of privileges.

  Loss of privileges = incentive to do better next time.

 

Yay me!!!

 

     3. There were prizes!!!

This is the part I lifted from some other source that I cannot recall at this moment (the point is that it didn't originate in my skull).

 

  I found a box & put "Milky Way Store" on the side of it (It was all an outer space theme).  Each item in the box had a monetary value (using garage sale stickers).  I picked up all kinds of stuff that I don't normally buy:

Gatorade

Beef Jerky

Air Head Candies

Chocolate milk (that nasty stuff that doesn't have to go in the fridge)

Toys/Magazines

Coupons for privileges

 

You get the point.

 

Now, for each star they had left at the end of the week, they received a dollar amount which they turned around & spent in the Milky Way Store.

 

Brilliant, I tell ya!  Brilliant!

 

 

4. Consistency was rewarded, too.

  

There was a larger goal as well.

 

There were 12 mind-numbingly long weeks of summer & if they achieved "Stellar Behavior" for 8 out of  12 weeks, they would be able to go to the water park. 

 

Not 7 weeks.

 

Not 6 weeks.

 

EIGHT weeks.  Firm.  No negotiating.

 

Two didn't get to go. :o(

 

I will be honest here, I tried everything I could think of to make it possible for those two to be able to go, but to no avail.  First, it wouldn't have been fair to the others & Second, well, it would make me a big fat liar. 

 

Yeah...

 

I'm sure this is all clear as mud, but the long & short of it is this: It's September & I'm still reasonably sane!  I chose not to continue this little system past the summer & all the kiddos were bummed.  Does this mean success????  Come next June, I'll put up another excessively tacky bulletin board in my hall, holler for a meeting & lay down the summer's rules. 

 

Hey, I'm not ashamed to say it.

 

I essentially blackmailed my kiddos to be good.

 

It worked.

 

:0)

 

If you would like me to email you copies of the "rules", I would be happy to do that.  Just leave me a comment with your email address.

 

 

Wonder-Full Wednesday: Chores

Today, I want to share something that is working rather well for us: Chore Sticks.  Like I have said before, I am not one to have too many original ideas, so I cannot take full credit for this one, either.  However, it is a compilation of ideas I have seen/heard here & there. 

That's usually how I work....

Hear something, tuck it away, 

see something else....tuck it away. 

Have a need....recall....adapt...put into practice. 

Sometimes it's a raging *success*....sometimes it's an epic *fail*!

That's life, I suppose.

So, here's the general idea:

*We have a house

*It needs cleaned

*We have 10 people making messes

*We should all pitch in

*Money isn't needed

*Good ideas are

I have tried all kinds of plans, tricks, charts...you name it.  And, it all works....as long as I'm ok with reminding everyone to do it (which I'm not...but I'm coming around).

The newest adaptation started with me dividing our home into "zones".  I feel sure I heard that somewhere.  Here are our zones:

*Bathrooms
*Kitchen
*Living Areas
*Bedrooms
*Laundry Room, Car, Porch

I didn't want to add stuff to the weekend, because we just never stick to it.  NEVER.  Then I get frustrated, and have to get pushy....the kids get pouty & ornery...the hubby has to give me the "just relax" talk....NAH...why go through all that???

So...these zones correspond with the days of the week.



I taped a reminder for myself as to what days
are what zone...as I knew I probably wouldn't remember!!



I bought a huge pack of colored popsicle sticks at the $1 store.  Then, I assigned each zone a color. 

Next, I thought up one word categories of cleaning such as:

*Wipe

*Empty

*Polish

*Scrub

Just to name a few.

I wrote a category at the tip of one side of the stick, turned it over & put what I wanted them to wipe/empty/polish etc.... Making sure to keep all writing at the same end of the stick.

Now, here's the part that seems to be the most appealing to the kiddos:  they do not have an assigned chore, it's just luck o' the draw!  Each day, following lunch, I grab all of the sticks for that day, make sure the words are tucked in my hand, fan them out, & let them pick sticks.  So far, I've been going oldest to youngest (5 years is the youngest in this case), and they draw til the sticks are gone.  Some get more chores than others...but no one has complained.  The funny part is:  the 5 year old had to scrub the tub, sink & toilet on Monday!  Ha!  I have no delusions as to actually having sparkling clean tubs when he does it, but HE sure was excited! :)

The stipulations for putting their stick(s) back into our handy little bucket are this:

-They have until 5 p.m. to complete the jobs they drew (no one has pushed this, so I haven't added an "or else" yet.)

-They must bring the stick to me & report in, so to speak.

-I give them permission to put the stick back in the bucket.

Here's our belief on chores:

"We all make the messes,

we all help clean them up."

Once again, since this is my blog...I can elaborate on a couple of possibly controversial things related to chores. 

The first one is:  All children should have chores in some form or fashion, and they should not be "gender specific".  Here is why:

*It teaches a cause and effect type of idea.  You make a mess....it must be cleaned by someone (preferably you). 

* Helping = privileges.  In our home, privileges aren't a given...they are earned.

*It prepares children for adulthood.  In my humble opinion, there aren't too many things more pitiful than a young adult who knows nothing about work or how to run a home. 

*It fosters gratitude (in theory) for the privileges they reap from a job well done.

*They learn to enjoy living in a tidy, and fairly clean environment (the idea being: they will carry a desire for that on to adulthood).

My kiddos pretty much run the gammut on chores.  Girls empty garbage cans, boys wash dishes, they all put away their own laundry (and I pray I never have to look for anything specific)....you get the idea.

One other thing we do not do is pay our children to do chores.  Keeping the house orderly & neat is not a payable job, it's a necessity.  Again, we all make the mess, therefore, we should all help to clean it.  With that said, I will now say that we DO provide ways for the kids to earn a bit of pocket cash with "Money Chores".

A money chore is something that is extra...beyond the everyday needs.  For example, we live on 10+ acres, & it needs mowed.  If one of the older kids take a notion to hop onto one of our 3 mowers & ride around for awhile, they can earn $5 per hour.  Pretty good, huh?

One way I pay out is to have someone dust my bedroom or clean my bathroom.  These two areas are my responsibility & do not appear on the kiddo's chore lists.  However, I don't like to do it, so I am willing to pay some green to get out of it. 

Other money chores may include:

   *thoroughly cleaning out the refrigerators ($5)

   *Taking down the curtains, washing, drying, ironing & re-hanging them ($15-$20 or maybe a certain amount per window)

   *wiping baseboards ($3)

   *cleaning mini-blinds ($5)

   *washing window sills ($3)

On a final note: don't underestimate your children.  All ages can help.  A toddler is fully capable of putting her own clean socks in the drawer.  The trick is to not overwhelm them with an entire basket of laundry at one time.  A three year old with a rag can do some real damage to your dust.  A damp rag in a short-ish person's hand can clean all sorts of low places that my knees don't want me to get to.  Door knobs, walls, light switches can all be cleaned by a toddler.  Lots of praise will be the only fuel needed!

Now...grab some kids & go clean some house!!!  :)

*****

If you would like to submit a question, you may comment here or send me an email to:

photographer*at*kidshots*dot*net

*Schedules, Menus, & Chore Lists*

I have had a request or two to post some of our family's schedules.

I have not always followed schedules, lists & menus, but, the more chaotic my family life became, the more necessary these items became. I have been making lists, charts & schedules for about 8 or 9 years now. I tweak them about twice a year, at the start of school & the start of summer. Other times that I have made changes includes: birth of a new baby, any type of life changes, or when things just aren't working out.

I will admit that some of these schedules were confusing. Some were too micro-managed. Some chores weren't appropriate for the day or child they were scheduled for. It is important that you keep the following in mind:

Do NOT get so fixated on your schedule that you forget to LIVE your life!!


You may use a schedule as a starting point for your family. Make one up, try it out for a month or so. Keep an extra copy to write in changes that you need to make. Tweak, then go :)

I have tried to post my individual schedules that I have kept through the years, but I am having some technical difficulties in just transferring the files to the blog. However, I would be happy to email you my file, just let me know if you want it.

I would be happy to help you in any way I can.


You might want to check out a site I have found EXTREMELY helpful through the years.

www.Titus2.com