Look! I Made This!!

It has been more than a year since I have blogged, and, boy what a year it has been!  I would apologize, but...ehhh...whatcha gonna do?

I have many thoughts in my mind the past few days & just felt the urge to write them down...to express them in some way.  Isn't that what a blog is for? 

If you know me at all, you might say I am a creative sort.  I have always had a "thing" for creating stuff.  Sometimes for money, sometimes for personal pleasure, often-times for relaxation.

Do you create? 

What is your creative outlet?

Do you scrapbook (I do)? 

How about photography (yep, that, too)?

Needlework (me, too!)?

Sewing (ummm..duh.)?

Quilting (nah...)?


One of the sometimes embarrassing, and secretly pleasant, side-effects of creativity is the compliments.  The ooh's & the ahh's are....nice.  I truly enjoy looking at something I have poured hours and hours of my time into.  Conversely, I have been known to fully complete something, say an outfit for one of my kids, and then chunk it in the Goodwill bag after one wear because I was humiliated to say I had made it.  Hey, we all have off days!  HA!


So, by now, you may be thinking this post is a bit self-serving, and maybe, in the end, it will be.  However, the creative expression that I want to talk about isn't about something you can buy supplies for at the local Hobby Lobby or Joanns craft stores.  It's bigger than that.  Chances are, it's something that even you...the self-professed "uncreative" person partakes in everyday.


Do you have kids?

I do.

Eight of them.

Yes.  Eight.

Five girls & three boys.

Ages 6-21.

Yes, they are all mine.

No, there are no twins.

No, we aren't Mormon or Catholic.

No, we don't know the Duggars personally.

No, I didn't plan to have them all, God did.

(I think that covers all of the most-asked questions....)


My kids are my greatest creation.  I know, I know...technically, I didn't create them, God did.  However, I DID play a VERY big role in it...so I'll take a little bit of credit.


From the moment I first laid eyes on each of them, they stole my whole heart.  I believe I must have, like, 10 or 13 hearts...one for each of my kids, one for my sweetheart, and some extras for all the other people I love.

From the moment I first held each one, I knew they were a great creation!

Each and every child is a wondrous creation.

I have, on more than one occasion had the feeling of wanting to have  Lion King moment...you know, the scene where that creepy monkey holds up the baby lion for all the world to see. 

C'mon...tell me you haven't had the urge to do that! 

You know, hold up your kid high for all the world to see & yell at the top of your lungs, "HEY!!!  LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!!"  Bowing is optional.

Parenting is hard work.  Seriously, the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my whole entire life!  I take it extremely seriously.  To see them becoming decent, loving, God-fearing, kind, well-adjusted people is a deep source of pride for me.  However, I can never sit back and rest & say...look how good they are turning out...I think I'll take a break.  Because, unlike an unfinished sewing project, six months down the road, they won't be in the same place.  "Resting" while parenting can cause so much extra work! 

In the last 3 months, I have seen 2 of my creations completed.  It has been bittersweet, to put it mildly.

Occasionally, I will make a particularly beautiful dress for my little girls and, when they outgrow it, I feel  small sense of sadness at not having it on the scene anymore.  I cannot make them stop growing, though, I have even tried to bribe them.

That sense of sadness is nothing compared to watching your beautiful daughter, dressed in the purest white, walk down the aisle and give her heart to a young man. 

W.O.W! 

The pain is acute. 

But so is the pride.

That day, when I have sat and watched some of my finest creations pledge their life & love to another, has been the last time I had that Lion King moment.  There she was...for everyone to see.  So beautiful.  So poised.  So happy.  She loves God.  She is smart.  She has so much to offer.  AND she can cook!

I have never been more proud than that day.

I also have never hurt more. 

I received the compliments graciously.

There are still 6 more creations at home.  Works in progress. 

I will still have cause to hold up my babies and show the world..."LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!"

Bowing is optional.

Morgan & Enrique
January 23, 2015

 

 

 

 

Heather & Seth
May 2, 2015

***Special note:  This post is written from my standpoint, but is in no way meant to discount the role their Dad plays.  Just saying...****

Opportunities To Improve...The Bubble Story

Have you ever heard something that totally changes everything? 

Maybe it was some preacher on the radio or TV (do they still have televangelists??). 

Maybe you read it in a daily devotional, or saw it on some annoying Facebook inspirational post.

For me, it was in church.  Isn't that what church is for?  Score one for church!!!

Here is what was said that socked me square between the eyes & left me sitting in my seat wondering if everyone could see my shame & humiliation:

"Remember that your children need as much mercy & grace each day as you do."

 

I know. 

 

Take a minute.

 

  Read it again.

 

 

  It's a cold glass of water to the face, isn't it??

 

 

 

He went on, of course, to include spouses & others that we come into contact with on a daily basis, but THIS was the one that got to me.

 

 

 

I would love to say right here that I have always known & done this & then go on to tell you what wonderful successes I have had with my kids as a result.

 

 

But I can't.

 

 

*Hangs head in shame*

 

 

The crazy thing is, I KNEW God KNEW I got it. 

 

He was looking right at me when I heard it & then said,

 

 "YOU GOT THAT?????  GOOD!!!" 

 

So much pressure when you KNOW that you have just been shown your ugly self in a personalized hand mirror.

 

 

 

So.  Now that I have established that I had an "A HA" moment in church last Sunday, let me give a pristine example of how God made sure I was paying attention.

 

 

Picture this:

 

 

Mom tells child (not named in order to protect the guilty innocent) to load dishwasher & start it after lunch. 

 

 

Story Background:

This has been unnamed child's chore for pretty stinking close to eternity, but child has EXTREME difficulties in remembering to do the job, therefore leaving us with NO clean dishes for dinner (remember, we use our entire set of multi-chipped, mismatched dishes at each meal).  In order to drive this chore into the said child's memory, many weeks of hand-washing (Mom!!!  Really??  I have to use my hands????) have occurred.

 

 

Back to my story.

 

 

After reminding child of their duties, Mom goes to lie down with the babies youngest children because THEY need a nap EVERY day.  Ahem.  It makes THEM nicer people in the afternoon.  True story.

 

 

I digress....

 

 

When Mom rises, cheerful & refreshed, she enters kitchen to see....bubbles. 

 

 

 

{LOTS & LOTS & LOTS of bubbles.}

 

 

Mom freaks.

 

(Please read this in calm, even tones as this is how I want you to think I did it....)

 

 

"What, exactly, was your thought process here????"

 

 

"We were out of dishwasher soap, so I put dish soap in there."

 

 

"No kidding.  Ummmm, why didn't you ASK if this was an ok substitute???"

 

 

"You were sleeping."

 

 

"Why didn't you just not start it since we were out of soap????"

 

 

"Because you always get upset & I didn't want to spend a month washing dishes by hand."

 

 

 

THERE.  Right there.

 

 

Did you see that?

 

 

THAT, my friends, was a healthy slap of guilty truth right across my face!!

 

 

Would someone PLEASE put down that incriminating mirror????

 

 

The child was correct, and respectful about it, even.  I do get upset.  I like things to run smoothly, like a well-oiled machine, which is why God gave me 8 kids (note to self:  do future blog on God's sense of humor.)

 

 

Whoops....digression....

 

 

When those words were uttered, I saw ME.  And I was embarrassed.  Then it happened, the words that were slammed in between my eyes the day before began dancing before my eyes.  This was my opportunity to show some grace for the mistake that had been made.  It was an honest mistake & one of those times that you think to yourself, "Self, why didn't you ever say that ONLY dishwasher soap is to be used in the dishwasher."  Oops.  My bad.  The child truly didn't know.  The child was trying to follow through with the job.  The child didn't want to be in trouble.  The child needed mercy.

 

 

Here it was:  OPPORTUNITY.

 

I had the opportunity to do this right.  So, I changed my tack.  I looked for the humor. 

 

WELL!  THERE IT WAS!!!  This situation was FULL of comedy!!! 

 

 

 

 

As I sat there surveying the massive quantities of bubbles, and wondered how do you clean this stuff up???, I realized that I had seen this only in movies.  And, they are just GONE in the next scene. 

 

Unfortunately, movies aren't a reliable source of reality, because, I didn't foresee a scene change coming up.

 

SO.......

 

I sent the kid for the shop-vac & as the said kid was preparing to suck up foam, I pointed out two new truths about their life:

 

1.  You now know all soaps are NOT created equal.

 

 

2.  You have just given the family permission to LAUGH about this for the remainder of your days.

 

 

The kid & I laughed together at the validity of these two statements.  Ha Ha Ha.

 

 

The kid started telling me what I could do to help with the clean-up, to which I laughed (we were, after all, already at the point of seeing the humor in the situation) and replied,

 

"Ummm, NO.  I wouldn't want you to be robbed of the valuable lesson of cleaning up this mess."

 

 

I'm cool like that.

 

 

Object lessons ROCK!!!

 

 

Today is a new day & that SAME kid will be home in a few hours, and will MOST LIKELY need more mercy today as this kid is particularly needy in this area. 

 

 

I hope I remember BEFORE I freak out, because THAT would be progress!!!



WWK (Walmart With Kids)

Worst.  Decision.  Ever.


My question to my older daughter & her resulting answer was the beginning of the ruin of my day.

"I must go grocery shopping today,

do you want to go or stay home?"

 

 

Her answer:

 

 

"Go."

 

 

"No problem, we'll all go", I said.

 

"It will be great", I said.

 

"I got this", I said.

 

 

Oh, and I have to get this done in one hour because I have to meet someone at 11:15 (I got this, remember?).  I have my handy-dandy list which I made according to the pre-created menu for all meals in June .  Very tidy.  In & out.

 

Problemo numero uno:

 

The grocery list which I have created based on the WalMart closest to my house & the route I ALWAYS take while in the store (OCD much?), is completely null and void at a different WalMart.

I chose to go to a different location because of the meeting that was taking place at 11:15....

 

Problemo numero dos:

 

I took kids.

 

 

 

So, in order to make you feel better about your life, here's how my trip went:

 

 

Unload kids.  Assign a portion to the elder sister (the easier ones, I kept the problematic ones).

 

Enter store.  Tell elder sister to take a portion of the list & meet me by the milk when she's done.

 

I rush through my area before heading to the meeting place.  Leaving kids standing where they were (touching merchandise I SPECIFICALLY told them NOT to touch), because I will ONLY say, "Come on" once, then they have to hunt for me.

 

Then, my phone rings (I don't like to take calls while shopping, I don't shop & solve world problems at the same time very efficiently, so I have to stop what I'm doing & listen....), it's eldest daughter.  The cat is shooting diarrhea all over her room like a water sprinkler, and she is beyond frustrated.  So, I navigate clothing racks, help elder son choose new swim trunks & swim shirt from the "Cheap" rack, give him dirty looks as he looks at the "privileged folks" racks, point vehemently at the cheap rack & motion decapitation if he doesn't comply, while talking calmly to the particularly emotional person on the phone & trying to figure out the digestive tract issues of a kitten.

 

Problem solved, cheap swim clothes chosen....on to the dairy dept.

 

Tell elder son to get 2 gallons of 2% milk.  He gets one.  Really????

 

Tell lil guy I can make 15 gallons of Jell-O for the price of the pre-packaged ones, and NO I do not care that those are more fun.

 

When did cheese go up??  $3 for Parmesan.  Guess I don't need it.

 

No, we are not close to the bakery.  No, we cannot buy a free cookie.

 

Yes, honey, I would be very embarrassed if my kid screamed like that in the store.

 

PLEASE, stop practicing to scream....I WILL spank you...even though that kid got away with it.

 

You stay here with the basket, I'll walk over here & get what I need.  HEY!  WHERE ARE YOU GOING????

 

Hey you, Run back 2 aisles & get a container of salt.  Not gourmet.  Just plain ole salt. 

 

Where will I be? I'm turning left from this aisle.  ( I turn right.  Hee hee hee.  Took him 5 minutes to find me.)

 

What time is it?  OH!  We have 20 min to finish up & load up & I'm nearly done!  Yay!

 

No, I don't know what that mystery package of stuff is on the ethnic food aisle.

 

Oops, forgot the pancake mix....run back please...I'll be in produce.  For reals.

 

No, they don't have cuties.  Yes, we can get belly button oranges instead. 

 

Stop smelling every single package of strawberries.  They ALL smell good. 

 

Am I worth a $3 carton of blueberries?  Ewww...they have mold on them.

 

I need 8 ripe avocados....is that too much to ask???  These could be stones!!

 

Ok....we are done....to the registers.

 

I am very picky with the bagging process.  She does it wrong.  She is slow.

 

No, you can't have any gum.

 

No, you cant have the cute package of Kleenex.

 

No, you can't have beef jerky.

 

Yes, please get the van pulled up, that would be great.

 

OOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!! I ram my arm on the empty DVD display by the register.  My arm goes numb.  My fingers begin to tingle.

 

I am NOW officially in a bad mood. 

 

It took me longer this time.  Is that progress?

 

Now my neck hurts from my arm injury.

 

I yell at kids in WalMart.  I feel like I fit in.

 

We load up the groceries in the recesses of the van, because I need the back for the 11:15 meeting.

 

All in!  Let's go! 

 

Why are the interior lights on? 

 

Son, close the back hatch.  Hellllloooo....open it, & reclose.  STOP BANGING ON THE DOOR!!!

 

Fine, I'll do it.  Done.

 

I am now soaked with sweat, mad, hurting, $200 poorer, hungry & just plain exhausted.

 

But, we make the meeting.  I am now the proud owner of 2 old, wood-framed windows ripe for some adorable craft/decorating project & I scored them for a mere $6 each!  Boo-ya.

 

Now, I am home, the cat is loudly protesting his confinement to the carpet-less room, the groceries are put away, the boys are gagging me with the smell of the sardines I let them talk me in to buying.  DISGUSTING.

 

I have cooled off...some.  My arm hurts.  I'm still hungry.

 

Thanks for reading, I feel a bit better for having written it down.

 

 

 

 

 



Parental Blackmail

If you have missed me, well, I am baaaaaack!!!  Hahaha...

I vowed to myself not to apologize *again* for not writing on here for an absolute eternity.  So, I won't .

To me, Blogging = Fun.  So, if I sit in my comfy red chair, pull out my laptop & proceed to ignore all of my other responsibilities pour my heart out to the great internet void, then I have that nagging feeling of "shouldn't I be doing something useful?".

My solution: block time on my calendar each week to devote to doing this & then it isn't a waste of time, it's what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. :)

 

Problem solved. 

 

I hope.

 

 

 

I have had such an eventful summer....I'm sure....but I can't remember any real specifics, & I don't really want to talk about that anyway.  Let's suffice it to say, Summer 2012 was crazy busy & we were all glad to slow down & get back to school! 

 

 

One thing I do know for sure, is that, behavior-wise, the kiddos were MUCH better than in past years!  Yay!  In the interest of keeping it real, I will confess that I was totally DREADING the summertime. Seven kids in the house....all day long...every day....for 12 weeks.  Nope, not a recipe for quiet & meditation.  About 3 weeks before school let out, I began formulating a plan. 

 

I've never been real big on rewarding expected behavior.  I mean, breathing is reward enough for being an obedient child, RIGHT? 

 

Apparently not. 

 

 

I had a plan for sanity.

 

 

Heee heee heeeeeeee.....

 

 

Here it is in a nutshell:

     1. There was a chore sheet. 

I just picked up some grid-type thingies at the local teacher's supply store (in fact, all of my supplies came from there) and some small stickers to coordinate.  I wrote the chore down the side & the day of the week across the top. 

 

I kept it simple:

     Make bed, brush hair, put jammies away, set table, etc...

     Do chore = get sticker

     Simple

 

     2. There was a behavior/character system.

This was the BIG DEAL.  This was what I really wanted to work on. 

 

Again, in another nutshell:

  They each had a large star with their name on it. 

  They had an assigned number of smaller stars affixed to the large one with Velcro.  The older they were, the fewer chances stars they had.

  Bad behavior/character = star removal.

  Star removal = loss of privileges.

  Loss of privileges = incentive to do better next time.

 

Yay me!!!

 

     3. There were prizes!!!

This is the part I lifted from some other source that I cannot recall at this moment (the point is that it didn't originate in my skull).

 

  I found a box & put "Milky Way Store" on the side of it (It was all an outer space theme).  Each item in the box had a monetary value (using garage sale stickers).  I picked up all kinds of stuff that I don't normally buy:

Gatorade

Beef Jerky

Air Head Candies

Chocolate milk (that nasty stuff that doesn't have to go in the fridge)

Toys/Magazines

Coupons for privileges

 

You get the point.

 

Now, for each star they had left at the end of the week, they received a dollar amount which they turned around & spent in the Milky Way Store.

 

Brilliant, I tell ya!  Brilliant!

 

 

4. Consistency was rewarded, too.

  

There was a larger goal as well.

 

There were 12 mind-numbingly long weeks of summer & if they achieved "Stellar Behavior" for 8 out of  12 weeks, they would be able to go to the water park. 

 

Not 7 weeks.

 

Not 6 weeks.

 

EIGHT weeks.  Firm.  No negotiating.

 

Two didn't get to go. :o(

 

I will be honest here, I tried everything I could think of to make it possible for those two to be able to go, but to no avail.  First, it wouldn't have been fair to the others & Second, well, it would make me a big fat liar. 

 

Yeah...

 

I'm sure this is all clear as mud, but the long & short of it is this: It's September & I'm still reasonably sane!  I chose not to continue this little system past the summer & all the kiddos were bummed.  Does this mean success????  Come next June, I'll put up another excessively tacky bulletin board in my hall, holler for a meeting & lay down the summer's rules. 

 

Hey, I'm not ashamed to say it.

 

I essentially blackmailed my kiddos to be good.

 

It worked.

 

:0)

 

If you would like me to email you copies of the "rules", I would be happy to do that.  Just leave me a comment with your email address.

 

 

Wonder-FULL Wednesday: Rivalry

I am hoping to get this posted before I start getting *HATE* texts from those of you who are staying up waiting for me to get busy. :-D

Anyway...I have had two separate topics on my mind all day & still haven't quite decided which one to write on tonight.  Both topics are issues that I am dealing with right now, although certainly not for the first time!

Hmmmm.....

Let's go with.....

No....

Me (to hubby), "Which topic should I write about?"
Hubby (always so helpful), "Whatever you feel inspired to write about."

Gee....

Ok, how about (DRUM ROLL, PLEASE):

*SIBLING RIVALRY*

Yes, we do actually have kids who argue, fuss, fight & bicker.  They are bossy, and sassy, too.  Ugh.  I am a person who truly shies away from conflict.  Hate it.  Absolutely HATE it.  I am equally adverse to bickering & general ugliness.  I don't like loud words.  So, when my kids get into these sorts of moods, it is like <fingernails on a chalkboard> to me, & I deal with it accordingly.

My kiddos were so excited (and so was I) that today was a day off of school (teacher training).  A day with absolutely nothing on the schedule.  So, we slept in a bit & then had breakfast (biscuits, gravy & sausage).  From the time two of my kiddos got up until we sat down at the table (about 45 minutes), they were at each other's throats.  Ugly words, mean actions...the works.  I cautioned them several times...but they just didn't believe me.  Normally, they sit next to each other at the table....and, when they came to the table, they pushed themselves as far away from each other as possible.  This is where I stepped in.  I moved them closer....much, much closer.  Almost touching, actually.  Then, after thanking the Lord for our food & praying for the attitudes at the table, I dropped the bomb on the two peace-breakers:  They would be spending the ENTIRE day TOGETHER.  No reading (yes, a punishment for my kiddos), no electronics, not even any Adventures in Odyssey.  They had the choice of either sitting & staring at each other all day or playing---nicely--together. 

I warned them that, should I hear any harsh words at any point in the day, I would tie their arms to each other.  Yes, I would do that...I have, in fact.  Amazingly, they were pretty kind all day long.

Now, do I think that there will be no ugliness tomorrow?

Nope.  I'm not naive.

Will I force them to be together?

Yes I will.

I do not believe brothers & sisters should fight.  They should be friends!!!  After all, we all have to learn to deal with & appropriately handle other people throughout our entire lives.  The home is where we start that learning process.  Rubbing shoulders day in & day out can really start to wear on attitudes.  Maybe one has a headache.  Or had a bad day at school.  Or is 'hormonal'.  In my book, none of these are justification for treating others badly.  I tell my kiddos (large & small) that we all have to handle our emotions, physical discomforts, disappointments and still treat others the same way we wish to be treated by them (See: Golden Rule in the Holy Bible).

I have found through the years that, when we allow an undercurrent of frustration to continue between kids, maybe chalking it up to 'a stage', it affects our whole family.  If brother picks on sister, sister sasses back, brother pesters again, sister cries....Mom & Dad get stressed...Mom yells at another kid...that kid is upset & gripes at a sibling....well, you can see where it goes & it's not good.

As with any other behavior we wish to instill in our kiddos, teaching them to manage their attitudes & treatment of others takes time and training. 

If your kids don't get along, then I would recommend that you create situations that require them to work together.  Maybe doing a joint chore or playing something together such as a game.  One time won't cut it.  You will need to have them be together-a lot.  Supervised togetherness.  Nip any bickering in the bud.  Provide consequences of ugly words or fighting.  Gush compliments at politeness & considering each other.

This kind of training can be done at any age.  Well, maybe not an infant...but you get it.

The key is that YOU are there...maybe in the background, but YOU are constantly monitoring the situation for glitches so that you may quickly step in while the fuses are still hot & redirect. 

God put each person in our families to help each one of us with an area in our life.  The family home is the ideal place to be tried.  This is just as true for children as adults.

Teaching our children to get along when they are young will go miles towards helping them handle others in their adult lives.

DISCLAIMER:  Yes, I have 'off' days too.  Yes, I yell at the kids.  Yes, I have to apologize.  Yes, I am not perfect.  Just so ya know!  :0)

A Calgon Moment

THE SCENE:

Cooking dinner @ about 6.

Kids are all outside playing.

Backdoor flies open.

In runs Ella Grace (age 3) hair a-flying.  She makes a *mad dash for the bathroom.*

Meanwhile, my dad knocks on the patio door...he is delivering the 18 or so eggs he just robbed our hens of so that we might have fresh scrambled eggs for breakfast.

As we admit him, we hear screams coming from the bathroom.  I send daughter #1 to assess the situation (although I'm fairly certain what has happened).

I return to my conversation with dad...

Back door flies open as #1 sticks her head out & screams at  #4 to come pick up her clothes & shoes off of the bathroom floor (this is pure, unmitigated hypocrosy in it's finest form, to say the very least).  As #4 comes in...#1 is rubbing her oversight in (loud enough for me to hear) by telling her that E.G. didn't quite make it to the bathroom in time, & lost it.....on her clothing & (yes) her school shoes.

In the meantime...the rice is burning.

My dad is laughing.

Daughter #1 informs me that the dog ran through the bathroom....right through....yeah.  But...it's all ok, cause she just put her in her kennel.


Are you needing *Calgon* to take you away just reading all of this???

Seriously, this is rather normal around here, if complete & utter chaos can be considered normal in any way. 

You might wonder, "How does she handle all of that?"

Well, today....fine.  I just instructed #4 to clean her stuff & the rug up...put it in a basket & put it by the washer.  Then to mop.

But, wait....before you think I have nerves of steel & a halo to match...let me tell you that by Wednesday or Thursday....this scene may very well make me want to curl up into the fetal position in the back corner of my closet.

*SIGH*

It is times like these, though, that I think....

I really should blog this stuff...

people will get a real kick out of it.

Wonder-Full Wednesday: Chores

Today, I want to share something that is working rather well for us: Chore Sticks.  Like I have said before, I am not one to have too many original ideas, so I cannot take full credit for this one, either.  However, it is a compilation of ideas I have seen/heard here & there. 

That's usually how I work....

Hear something, tuck it away, 

see something else....tuck it away. 

Have a need....recall....adapt...put into practice. 

Sometimes it's a raging *success*....sometimes it's an epic *fail*!

That's life, I suppose.

So, here's the general idea:

*We have a house

*It needs cleaned

*We have 10 people making messes

*We should all pitch in

*Money isn't needed

*Good ideas are

I have tried all kinds of plans, tricks, charts...you name it.  And, it all works....as long as I'm ok with reminding everyone to do it (which I'm not...but I'm coming around).

The newest adaptation started with me dividing our home into "zones".  I feel sure I heard that somewhere.  Here are our zones:

*Bathrooms
*Kitchen
*Living Areas
*Bedrooms
*Laundry Room, Car, Porch

I didn't want to add stuff to the weekend, because we just never stick to it.  NEVER.  Then I get frustrated, and have to get pushy....the kids get pouty & ornery...the hubby has to give me the "just relax" talk....NAH...why go through all that???

So...these zones correspond with the days of the week.



I taped a reminder for myself as to what days
are what zone...as I knew I probably wouldn't remember!!



I bought a huge pack of colored popsicle sticks at the $1 store.  Then, I assigned each zone a color. 

Next, I thought up one word categories of cleaning such as:

*Wipe

*Empty

*Polish

*Scrub

Just to name a few.

I wrote a category at the tip of one side of the stick, turned it over & put what I wanted them to wipe/empty/polish etc.... Making sure to keep all writing at the same end of the stick.

Now, here's the part that seems to be the most appealing to the kiddos:  they do not have an assigned chore, it's just luck o' the draw!  Each day, following lunch, I grab all of the sticks for that day, make sure the words are tucked in my hand, fan them out, & let them pick sticks.  So far, I've been going oldest to youngest (5 years is the youngest in this case), and they draw til the sticks are gone.  Some get more chores than others...but no one has complained.  The funny part is:  the 5 year old had to scrub the tub, sink & toilet on Monday!  Ha!  I have no delusions as to actually having sparkling clean tubs when he does it, but HE sure was excited! :)

The stipulations for putting their stick(s) back into our handy little bucket are this:

-They have until 5 p.m. to complete the jobs they drew (no one has pushed this, so I haven't added an "or else" yet.)

-They must bring the stick to me & report in, so to speak.

-I give them permission to put the stick back in the bucket.

Here's our belief on chores:

"We all make the messes,

we all help clean them up."

Once again, since this is my blog...I can elaborate on a couple of possibly controversial things related to chores. 

The first one is:  All children should have chores in some form or fashion, and they should not be "gender specific".  Here is why:

*It teaches a cause and effect type of idea.  You make a mess....it must be cleaned by someone (preferably you). 

* Helping = privileges.  In our home, privileges aren't a given...they are earned.

*It prepares children for adulthood.  In my humble opinion, there aren't too many things more pitiful than a young adult who knows nothing about work or how to run a home. 

*It fosters gratitude (in theory) for the privileges they reap from a job well done.

*They learn to enjoy living in a tidy, and fairly clean environment (the idea being: they will carry a desire for that on to adulthood).

My kiddos pretty much run the gammut on chores.  Girls empty garbage cans, boys wash dishes, they all put away their own laundry (and I pray I never have to look for anything specific)....you get the idea.

One other thing we do not do is pay our children to do chores.  Keeping the house orderly & neat is not a payable job, it's a necessity.  Again, we all make the mess, therefore, we should all help to clean it.  With that said, I will now say that we DO provide ways for the kids to earn a bit of pocket cash with "Money Chores".

A money chore is something that is extra...beyond the everyday needs.  For example, we live on 10+ acres, & it needs mowed.  If one of the older kids take a notion to hop onto one of our 3 mowers & ride around for awhile, they can earn $5 per hour.  Pretty good, huh?

One way I pay out is to have someone dust my bedroom or clean my bathroom.  These two areas are my responsibility & do not appear on the kiddo's chore lists.  However, I don't like to do it, so I am willing to pay some green to get out of it. 

Other money chores may include:

   *thoroughly cleaning out the refrigerators ($5)

   *Taking down the curtains, washing, drying, ironing & re-hanging them ($15-$20 or maybe a certain amount per window)

   *wiping baseboards ($3)

   *cleaning mini-blinds ($5)

   *washing window sills ($3)

On a final note: don't underestimate your children.  All ages can help.  A toddler is fully capable of putting her own clean socks in the drawer.  The trick is to not overwhelm them with an entire basket of laundry at one time.  A three year old with a rag can do some real damage to your dust.  A damp rag in a short-ish person's hand can clean all sorts of low places that my knees don't want me to get to.  Door knobs, walls, light switches can all be cleaned by a toddler.  Lots of praise will be the only fuel needed!

Now...grab some kids & go clean some house!!!  :)

*****

If you would like to submit a question, you may comment here or send me an email to:

photographer*at*kidshots*dot*net

Wonder-FULL Wednesday: Tears & Faith

Once again, I am a bit late getting the Wednesday posting out...but hey, there are still a few hours left in today :).

Here are today's questions.  I lumped them together because, basically, they are intertwined.

QUESTION(S):

Do you ever sit down and cry for a bit or

are you past that stage now?

How has the Lord helped you keep it together

when otherwise you would've given up?

ANSWER(S):

In response to the first part of the question, um....Is the Pope Catholic???  HAHAHAHA!! 

 

Yes, I do sit & cry a bit now & then.  Crying is NOT one of my favorite pastimes (I've been known to hate on a person who knowingly made me watch a movie for which I needed a tissue), so I don't do it very often.  I tend to bottle my emotions up for a long time, then explode like a volcano full of all kinds fun stuff!  As much as I would like to insert a *JK* here, I'm not.

 

If I cry...I'm done in.

 

But, I do cry.  It's so....cleansing.  Sometimes, it's just the thing.

 

As for the part about being past that stage...I have been a parent for nearly 18 years, and I have cried, recently, regarding the oldest child!  So, I am thinking that there is no "stage".  As a parent, I believe we will cry forever when it comes to our kiddos.  After all....Jesus wept regarding His kids....just sayin....

 

There is nothing wrong with crying or feeling frustrated or overwhelmed.  It happens. 

 

However, if it happens A LOT, then there may need to be some soul searching.  What is the source of your tears? 

 

Hormones?

Depression?

Pregnancy?

Disappointment?

Selfishness?

Pride?

 

Notice I did not include any outside sources in this list.

 

I did that on purpose.

 

See, there is only one person for which we are totally responsible for, & that is the one in the mirror everyday.  Yes, outside sources are often a reason for our tears, but HOW we respond to those events/people is entirely up to us.

 

I've been depressed.  I know that tears coming from depression seemingly have no source.  Those tears need help.  Don't be ashamed to ask for it.  Your family needs you whole & coherent...do it for them....

 

Now...how has the Lord helped me???

 

I think a better question would be:

 

How has He NOT helped me???

 

As I've mentioned before, I never signed up for this life....He saw fit to give it to me.  So, I have relied heavily on Him to supply my strength.  After all, He promised NOT to give us more than we could bear (through Him...always a catch...), and I, for one &  am holding Him to that promise.  The Bible says that children are a blessing, and they are.  If I begin to feel that they are, shall we say: less than a blessing, then it is usually due to something I am doing.  Maybe we are over scheduled...or under scheduled.  Maybe I am hormonal, & therefore *gasp* irrational.  Possibly I am expecting too much from the kids or even myself. 

 

When God began dealing in my heart to home school my children, I truly did not want to.  I was scared.  What if I screwed them up for life??  Whew...let's let someone else do that...then we can blame them!!!  LOL  Anyway, I learned quickly to ask His opinion about how our days were to run.  While I never woke up with my lesson plans miraculously filled in through divine intervention, I did have an occasional stroke of genius or come across someone or something that was just what I was needing at the time.  In other words, He always provided.

 

I am not homeschooling right now, but I still ask for His help every day.  I specifically ask for wisdom & strength to get through whatever the day will throw my way.  I can truly tell a difference from the days I forget.

 

I don't know if I've ever felt like giving up, but I have felt woefully under trained & very inadequate for the job He has set before me.

 

I'll close with a scripture that He laid on my heart a few years ago as I was REALLY struggling with my lot in life:

 

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me"  Philippians 4:13

 

I would love to hear from you, whether it be a question or a comment, so feel free to either leave a comment here or drop me an email at:

 

photographer(at)kidshots(dot)net

 

I look forward to hearing from you....

Wonder-FULL Wednesday: Are We Done Yet?

Question:  How do you know when you're finished having children?

Answer:  WoW! What a question!

Luckily, I received this question in plenty of time to think about it (and pray, too).  This is a question I think probably most parents face.  I mean...who wants regret???  Not I!!! 

Since I am neither God, nor your spouse, I can only tell you what we did & opinionate to my heart's content  *for whatever that's worth*.

Let me first tell you a bit of our story:

As I have mentioned before, we didn't set out to have 8 kiddos...it just happened.  We thought 3, maybe 4, would be just fine.  God felt differently.  Now, I know that there are some folks who roll their eyes at the thought of God even caring how many kids we have, but I know FOR A CERTAINTY that He cared about the size of our family.  When we started out, we were like millions of other families...planning each birth as it seemed convenient for us.  The first two are just over 2 years apart...both girls...couldn't have planned it any better!  Our first son was 3 1/2 years later.  That was great timing, too!  Both girls were potty trained & on their way.  Baby #4 was also 3 1/2 later.  Still good.

From this point, it gets crazy!  When I was pregnant with #5, we made a major move (would NOT recommend that!!)  BTW.... there are only 14 months between #4 & #5.  Life was starting to get really busy.

***May I pause here to insert that, after each birth, we kinda felt out our hearts to see if we were finished, and each time, we agreed that we just didn't feel our family was finished yet.  So, we did nothing to change things.  This does not mean that I (me, personally) wasn't tired & very weary....I was, but God held me.***

Then came #6...the pregnancy was different from the beginning.  I had some medical issues that I hadn't faced before, and...not terribly surprising...we ended up with an emergency C-Section, and a baby in NICU for a week.  This was the point at which we began seriously discussing being finished.  However, we did nothing at that time.  For a year & a half, we prayed.  We talked.  We prayed.  We discussed.  We prayed.  We searched our hearts.  We prayed.  We made a decision.  We prayed.  We followed through with it.  We prayed.  We felt good about our decision.

I became pregnant.

What?????

Yep...it was true. 

Well, I admit, I was a tad excited.  After two boys, I was hoping for another girl to dress up.  We just figured that this was just a fluke, after all we were done.  So....baby #7 was born (a girl).  She became the family princess.  The pregnancy was rather rough with health issues, and we had some issues after the birth, but she was our *The End*, so it was ok.

Fast forward 10 weeks...

Me:  "If I didn't know any better, I would think I was pregnant.  I feel awful.  Probably getting the flu."

Hubby:  "Yeah, probably."

A few more days later...

Me:  "It's totally crazy, I feel like I do when I'm pregnant!"

Hubby:  "Better check."

Me:  "Nah...not possible. (truth: I don't want to know)

A few MORE days later...

I am popping my non-pregnancy safe blood pressure pills in my mouth & it occurs to me:  If I AM (by some strange stretch of the imagination) pregnant, this pill could harm the baby.  UGH.  So, I did what I thought I would NEVER do again....I bought a test....and stared at it in complete & UTTER DISBELIEF as it went from pink to blue ( or whatever it did).  NO WAY!!! NOT POSSIBLE!!!!

BUT...

I was.

So, 10 1/2 short months after baby 7 came baby 8.  God's final gift to the Young family.  She is a story in herself, but that's another blog posting.  Because of some serious health concerns as well as another C-Section, we had an additional procedure done at the same time.

Were we planning on those final two sets of little feet to pitter-patter around the house?  Nope.  God did it.

Do we feel like we made the wrong decison after baby #6?  Nope.  We feel like we did exactly what we were supposed to do.  God did it.

Ok, that's MY story.

Now, here's my advice about making a HUGE decision...

1.  Do NOT make a decision while you are pregnant, most especially during the first trimester!

     This would constitute as an emotional decision, and one that you may very well regret later.  During this time, extreme fatigue, nausea, emotions, extreme fatigue, emotions, extreme fatigue, emotions....(get it?) cloud your ability to make a wise choice.  When you are so tired or sick that you cannot even keep food on the table or clothing washed, it is next to impossible to imagine that adding another person to the family will be anything other than colossally impossible!!!  But, remember....this feeling passes.  The baby will grow.  The other children will grow.  You WILL (I promise) get your energy back....and then, when your baby turns 1 or 2, you will begin to stare longingly at every baby you see, wondering if that momma would think you were insane for asking to hold it. 

Or. 

You won't.

Which leads me to....

2.  Do NOT make a decision during the first year after you have a baby.

     If you pass the first birthday mark & still want to curl up in a ball at the thought of having another one...then you may want to start praying.



Do NOT make a decision on a day like this!!!



Which leads me to....

3.  Do NOT make this decison without God.

     Pray.  Pray.  & pray some more.  Ask for direction.  Ask for peace.  Ask for strength.  He will lead you, if you ask.  He DOES care.  You are raising children for HIM (hopefully), so of course He cares if you have more.

Remember:

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."  Philippians 4:13

He promised, so, if He has chosen you & your spouse to raise children for His glory...well, He will help you do it!  I know how humbling it is to think that He cares about our family to that extent or that He sees us as worthy of the responsibility He has given us.  But, it's the only way I see to look at it!  I can also attest to the fact that, as long as we hold His hand, He holds ours.  When we try to do it alone, in our own wisdom, we struggle miserably.

4.  I advise you to NOT try to convince your spouse.  If they aren't sure you're family is complete, then you must respect that.  And vice versa.  Again, this is where prayer comes in.  If you feel that you are done, then ask for God to change your spouse's mind as a confirmation.  Be willing to wait.  God tends to be pokey (sorry, Sir).  If you want more & your spouse doesn't, pray the same prayer as above.  Having children is not a one-person decision, it's a 3 person decision.  Please, leave no one out.

5.  Stress does not lend to good decision-making.  'Nuff said :)



Yeah, you guessed it....
don't make a decision on THIS day, either.

I hope that I have offered some insight that you may not have thought of before, but more importantly, I hope I have been able to stress the importance of keeping God in your decision-making process.  So many people pick & choose when He is to be included in their life, tending to leave Him out when they are afraid He will not agree with what they want to do.  If you don't like what God is asking of you, then I suggest you ask Him for a change of heart/mind & for the strength, mercy & wisdom to carry out what He is requiring.



HE WILL!!!  :)

****Great question!  If you would like to send me a question for Wonder-FULL Wednesday, you may either leave a comment or email me at  photographer(at)kidshots(dot)net.  Or, if you know me well, just text me.  LOL  ****