Look! I Made This!!

It has been more than a year since I have blogged, and, boy what a year it has been!  I would apologize, but...ehhh...whatcha gonna do?

I have many thoughts in my mind the past few days & just felt the urge to write them down...to express them in some way.  Isn't that what a blog is for? 

If you know me at all, you might say I am a creative sort.  I have always had a "thing" for creating stuff.  Sometimes for money, sometimes for personal pleasure, often-times for relaxation.

Do you create? 

What is your creative outlet?

Do you scrapbook (I do)? 

How about photography (yep, that, too)?

Needlework (me, too!)?

Sewing (ummm..duh.)?

Quilting (nah...)?


One of the sometimes embarrassing, and secretly pleasant, side-effects of creativity is the compliments.  The ooh's & the ahh's are....nice.  I truly enjoy looking at something I have poured hours and hours of my time into.  Conversely, I have been known to fully complete something, say an outfit for one of my kids, and then chunk it in the Goodwill bag after one wear because I was humiliated to say I had made it.  Hey, we all have off days!  HA!


So, by now, you may be thinking this post is a bit self-serving, and maybe, in the end, it will be.  However, the creative expression that I want to talk about isn't about something you can buy supplies for at the local Hobby Lobby or Joanns craft stores.  It's bigger than that.  Chances are, it's something that even you...the self-professed "uncreative" person partakes in everyday.


Do you have kids?

I do.

Eight of them.

Yes.  Eight.

Five girls & three boys.

Ages 6-21.

Yes, they are all mine.

No, there are no twins.

No, we aren't Mormon or Catholic.

No, we don't know the Duggars personally.

No, I didn't plan to have them all, God did.

(I think that covers all of the most-asked questions....)


My kids are my greatest creation.  I know, I know...technically, I didn't create them, God did.  However, I DID play a VERY big role in it...so I'll take a little bit of credit.


From the moment I first laid eyes on each of them, they stole my whole heart.  I believe I must have, like, 10 or 13 hearts...one for each of my kids, one for my sweetheart, and some extras for all the other people I love.

From the moment I first held each one, I knew they were a great creation!

Each and every child is a wondrous creation.

I have, on more than one occasion had the feeling of wanting to have  Lion King moment...you know, the scene where that creepy monkey holds up the baby lion for all the world to see. 

C'mon...tell me you haven't had the urge to do that! 

You know, hold up your kid high for all the world to see & yell at the top of your lungs, "HEY!!!  LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!!"  Bowing is optional.

Parenting is hard work.  Seriously, the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my whole entire life!  I take it extremely seriously.  To see them becoming decent, loving, God-fearing, kind, well-adjusted people is a deep source of pride for me.  However, I can never sit back and rest & say...look how good they are turning out...I think I'll take a break.  Because, unlike an unfinished sewing project, six months down the road, they won't be in the same place.  "Resting" while parenting can cause so much extra work! 

In the last 3 months, I have seen 2 of my creations completed.  It has been bittersweet, to put it mildly.

Occasionally, I will make a particularly beautiful dress for my little girls and, when they outgrow it, I feel  small sense of sadness at not having it on the scene anymore.  I cannot make them stop growing, though, I have even tried to bribe them.

That sense of sadness is nothing compared to watching your beautiful daughter, dressed in the purest white, walk down the aisle and give her heart to a young man. 

W.O.W! 

The pain is acute. 

But so is the pride.

That day, when I have sat and watched some of my finest creations pledge their life & love to another, has been the last time I had that Lion King moment.  There she was...for everyone to see.  So beautiful.  So poised.  So happy.  She loves God.  She is smart.  She has so much to offer.  AND she can cook!

I have never been more proud than that day.

I also have never hurt more. 

I received the compliments graciously.

There are still 6 more creations at home.  Works in progress. 

I will still have cause to hold up my babies and show the world..."LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!"

Bowing is optional.

Morgan & Enrique
January 23, 2015

 

 

 

 

Heather & Seth
May 2, 2015

***Special note:  This post is written from my standpoint, but is in no way meant to discount the role their Dad plays.  Just saying...****

Opportunities To Improve...The Bubble Story

Have you ever heard something that totally changes everything? 

Maybe it was some preacher on the radio or TV (do they still have televangelists??). 

Maybe you read it in a daily devotional, or saw it on some annoying Facebook inspirational post.

For me, it was in church.  Isn't that what church is for?  Score one for church!!!

Here is what was said that socked me square between the eyes & left me sitting in my seat wondering if everyone could see my shame & humiliation:

"Remember that your children need as much mercy & grace each day as you do."

 

I know. 

 

Take a minute.

 

  Read it again.

 

 

  It's a cold glass of water to the face, isn't it??

 

 

 

He went on, of course, to include spouses & others that we come into contact with on a daily basis, but THIS was the one that got to me.

 

 

 

I would love to say right here that I have always known & done this & then go on to tell you what wonderful successes I have had with my kids as a result.

 

 

But I can't.

 

 

*Hangs head in shame*

 

 

The crazy thing is, I KNEW God KNEW I got it. 

 

He was looking right at me when I heard it & then said,

 

 "YOU GOT THAT?????  GOOD!!!" 

 

So much pressure when you KNOW that you have just been shown your ugly self in a personalized hand mirror.

 

 

 

So.  Now that I have established that I had an "A HA" moment in church last Sunday, let me give a pristine example of how God made sure I was paying attention.

 

 

Picture this:

 

 

Mom tells child (not named in order to protect the guilty innocent) to load dishwasher & start it after lunch. 

 

 

Story Background:

This has been unnamed child's chore for pretty stinking close to eternity, but child has EXTREME difficulties in remembering to do the job, therefore leaving us with NO clean dishes for dinner (remember, we use our entire set of multi-chipped, mismatched dishes at each meal).  In order to drive this chore into the said child's memory, many weeks of hand-washing (Mom!!!  Really??  I have to use my hands????) have occurred.

 

 

Back to my story.

 

 

After reminding child of their duties, Mom goes to lie down with the babies youngest children because THEY need a nap EVERY day.  Ahem.  It makes THEM nicer people in the afternoon.  True story.

 

 

I digress....

 

 

When Mom rises, cheerful & refreshed, she enters kitchen to see....bubbles. 

 

 

 

{LOTS & LOTS & LOTS of bubbles.}

 

 

Mom freaks.

 

(Please read this in calm, even tones as this is how I want you to think I did it....)

 

 

"What, exactly, was your thought process here????"

 

 

"We were out of dishwasher soap, so I put dish soap in there."

 

 

"No kidding.  Ummmm, why didn't you ASK if this was an ok substitute???"

 

 

"You were sleeping."

 

 

"Why didn't you just not start it since we were out of soap????"

 

 

"Because you always get upset & I didn't want to spend a month washing dishes by hand."

 

 

 

THERE.  Right there.

 

 

Did you see that?

 

 

THAT, my friends, was a healthy slap of guilty truth right across my face!!

 

 

Would someone PLEASE put down that incriminating mirror????

 

 

The child was correct, and respectful about it, even.  I do get upset.  I like things to run smoothly, like a well-oiled machine, which is why God gave me 8 kids (note to self:  do future blog on God's sense of humor.)

 

 

Whoops....digression....

 

 

When those words were uttered, I saw ME.  And I was embarrassed.  Then it happened, the words that were slammed in between my eyes the day before began dancing before my eyes.  This was my opportunity to show some grace for the mistake that had been made.  It was an honest mistake & one of those times that you think to yourself, "Self, why didn't you ever say that ONLY dishwasher soap is to be used in the dishwasher."  Oops.  My bad.  The child truly didn't know.  The child was trying to follow through with the job.  The child didn't want to be in trouble.  The child needed mercy.

 

 

Here it was:  OPPORTUNITY.

 

I had the opportunity to do this right.  So, I changed my tack.  I looked for the humor. 

 

WELL!  THERE IT WAS!!!  This situation was FULL of comedy!!! 

 

 

 

 

As I sat there surveying the massive quantities of bubbles, and wondered how do you clean this stuff up???, I realized that I had seen this only in movies.  And, they are just GONE in the next scene. 

 

Unfortunately, movies aren't a reliable source of reality, because, I didn't foresee a scene change coming up.

 

SO.......

 

I sent the kid for the shop-vac & as the said kid was preparing to suck up foam, I pointed out two new truths about their life:

 

1.  You now know all soaps are NOT created equal.

 

 

2.  You have just given the family permission to LAUGH about this for the remainder of your days.

 

 

The kid & I laughed together at the validity of these two statements.  Ha Ha Ha.

 

 

The kid started telling me what I could do to help with the clean-up, to which I laughed (we were, after all, already at the point of seeing the humor in the situation) and replied,

 

"Ummm, NO.  I wouldn't want you to be robbed of the valuable lesson of cleaning up this mess."

 

 

I'm cool like that.

 

 

Object lessons ROCK!!!

 

 

Today is a new day & that SAME kid will be home in a few hours, and will MOST LIKELY need more mercy today as this kid is particularly needy in this area. 

 

 

I hope I remember BEFORE I freak out, because THAT would be progress!!!



It's a GREAT Life!!!!!

Last week held some pretty good days! My girlies were finally home from their travels in parts north. I really enjoy having them around, they are fun (oh, and they can run to the store for me, too :).

I got some (ok, lots) sewing done.

Sewing = joy :)

I am working on tote bags. I have a thing for bags. I look at them anytime I see them in the stores. I wonder why? They are fun for me, and I can't quite put my finger on the why of it. So, I have acquired a great pattern, mixed up some adorable fabric combos, dug out the embroidery machine to personalize them...put a sweet price-tag on them...and am selling 'em like hotcakes! :) I am shooting for some dining room chairs. Three years of white plastic folding chairs in lieu of wood is long-enough, dontcha think??

Anyway, if you want one....let me know! I can make them with lotsa pockets, pencil pockets, cell phone pockets, money pockets, bottle pockets...you name it....

One other project I completed this week ('cause I kinda had to) was a ~man~ tie & vest for B-man to wear in a wedding. He was the ring bearer, and he ROCKED it! I told him he would, and he agreed...his wording was, "Duh, mom, it is called the ring BEAR!" Hahaha...Bear is a nickname we frequently use for him. He took his job VERY seriously, too.

I also took my Dad out to lunch for his birthday. His choice: Indian food.

Oooooookaaaayyy.

It was HIS birthday, after all. So, we had, chicken-something, veggie rice whatchamacalit with some yogurt sauce of some sort...and DIET COKE which really brought it all together nicely. :) I have now had Indian food. Mark it off the list of things to do before I die...now where on my list did I put that exactly? Hmmmm....better pencil it in & mark it off!

Seriously, though, I don't really spend much time with my dad one on one, so at least once a year, I take him out. When I started doing this several years it was actually kinda awkward, and that was just WRONG! He IS my dad, after all, it should not be hard to talk to him. In all fairness, he isn't really the *chatty* sort. However, we have found our nitch. We have some common interests, and I have found in him a place to go for info on all things botanical. If he doesn't know the answer...he just fakes it! LOL!!

After our lunch, we went to a mutual fave....Barnes & Noble. We both love to read, and WHO can afford those books? We sit & thumb through books that we probably will never own. It's great!

This last week held another special date: Sam. I took my oldest boy out on the town. First stop, the library...then fajitas...then ice cream. Could a date get any better??? I don't think so, either!

I could keep boring you with the details of my life, but let me sum it all up with:

GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! I L.O.V.E. MY LIFE!!!!!

Thanks for stopping by & humoring me in my ramblings :0)

Life IS Good...Even IF it's Not Perfect

I do find inspiration for this blog in the strangest places! HA!!





But, today, at lunch, I had to send EG to her room for throwing a fit.





"Why was she throwing a fit?"

I thought you'd never ask!

Her biscuit was broken (read: crumbly).

Yes.

It wasn't perfect.

This is a thing for her.

At McDonald's, she becomes ballistic if the meat patty & the bun are off-centered, or if the bun has a "crack" in it. I know. Cute, really, but annoying when you have to stop eating every few minutes to um, rearrange her burger or convince her that her food will still taste great even if the bun isn't ideal.





Another of my children, when they were very small, ~REFUSED~ to use a restroom unless it was immaculate. Great! Cleanliness is next to godliness, right?!? Not at Wal-Mart! They don't pay me enough to clean THOSE stalls for her to use their facilities (in fact, they don't pay me at ALL!)





I could go on.





You may be wondering what the big deal is, just make adjustments for the child to be happy, to stop screaming or to get them to do what you want, & go on, right?





Well, yes & no.





How many things in life are perfect?





Hmm?

In my life...not much.

Well, my life *is perfectly wonderful*, but there are many, Many, MANY imperfections, too. This is particularly frustrating to a perfectionist.





*sigh*





My mind is a perfectionist...my life...not so much. Over the years, I have had to.....let's saaaayyyy.......adjust....my way of thinking - my standards, even.





At first, I was just like EG. Screaming, kicking, throwing one righteous FIT!!!





NOT becoming of a lady!





Did that change the way things were going?


Yes! In fact, it DID!


For the worse.


I was more miserable. Everyone around me was miserable. It was not good.





So, back to my original story. Do I make adjustments for the kiddos when things aren't going just as they would like for them to be, no matter how trivial? Usually not. Don't get me wrong. I do let my sweeties pluck my heartstrings periodically. I'm not totally heartless! However, when I see that something is becoming a habit, I try to consider what the root issue is, and then deal with them accordingly.





Ultimately, as I've said before, my goal is to raise healthy, well-adjusted adults.





Is 2 or 3 too early to begin learning that life doesn't always throw you the balls you were expecting?

nope.

The early, formative years are the perfect time for making adjustments, to learn to go with the flow.





I cannot tell you how many vacations I have planned for our family. Wonderful, fun-filled, activity-packed, family-bonding, scrapbook fodder.





That. Never. Happened.





After a while, it became almost a hobby to plan a trip for ten...just to see if I could.





I can.





At first, I would become despondant. Depressed. Angry. Then, the moral of the experience began to sink in: make plans to enjoy your life, then live it as it comes, oh, and: don't make plans that you can't get your deposit back on!





Now, I never know for sure if we will do something until we pull out of the driveway. We don't even usually have hotel reservations until the day we leave!

Ewwwwww!!!! I still hate that!!

Why do these events fall apart on us? Kids. Sickness. Work. Money. You name it, it happens. Does wailing, gnashing my teeth or wallowing in ashes help. Nope. Life goes on, AND it is still good. My response, though, determines HOW good it is. Oh, and: HOW I respond directly affects how my children respond.

(Mom throws a fit + kids throw fits) x anger = REALLY bad results!!!

Soooooo....EG goes to her room or doesn't get a biscuit if she cannot learn that life is still good even if her meal isn't Food-Network-perfect!

It's a Crazy Life!!

I really don't know what I'm going to ramble on about tonight, but I just felt the urge to blog. I have been sitting here in my quiet house, listening to the hum of the refrigerator running (better go catch it!! LOL), hearing a random beep (and wondering what it is, but not enough to go find out), and catching up on my blog reading. I find myself wondering what we did before the invention of the internet (should I ask Al Gore???). I feel like I am so much more in contact with friends who are miles away. Texting, emails, blogs...all make the world a much smaller place. I, for one, just love it :) However, (isn't there always one of those?) I find that I do lack discipline in utilizing these wonderful inventions...if I'm not careful. There are legitimate things that can be done on a computer, and I do plenty of them, but the temptation to just "check" on everyone else is sometimes more than I can handle.

"What's the big deal?", you may ask.

Well, as you may or may not know, I have 2 toddlers here & even just a few minutes of my attentions being distracted from them can lead to hours of frustrating clean-up, including, but CERTAINLY not limited to: salt all over the dining room table & floor, completely unrolled toilet paper tubes, a brand-new 15 piece pack of gum...completely gone, with wrappers on the floor, all of the clean laundry unfolded & all over the house...I could go on & on & on & on..... So, when all eyes are not on them, the girls get into mischief...to say the least. And, when they do, I am forced to put away what was so enthralling to me to deal with the very real evidence of my distraction. UGH~ I have been feeling somewhat convicted about spending time on my computer, or anything, really, that pulls me away from my # 1 priorities. Don't get me wrong-I don't think there is anything wrong with reading a good book or magazine, or surfing the web in search of the best deal on shoes, books, fabric or whatever (after all, I AM trying to SAVE money!). What is wrong (at least for me), is the lack of discretion in the amount of time I spend doing it. I start out with good intentions, "Just 10 minutes...I need to check on banking, send an email, check the weather..." Then, 30 minutes later--there's a crash (or total silence, which, to me, is WAY scarier) & I'm brought back to real life with a thud! I decided the best way, for me, to handle this & to still feel connected with the outside world, was to make myself a daily schedule. Something like: 6:00 Wake & Shower 6:15 Read Bible 6:33 Pray 6:48 Have a moment of silence 7:00 Kiss all the little cherubs good morning on their perfectly clean faces & admire their tidy attire & hair. 7:30 Join the happy crowd at the table for a hearty breakfast . . . . . . . . 10:00 p.m. Fall happily into bed with a contented *sigh* at the end of an overly productive day. Ummmmmm....

Yeah, right!

So...well, what happened was....

LIFE!

A carefully regimented day like the one mentioned above (possibly without the sarcasm) is truly what would make me happy. However (there it is again), I have learned the hard way that life happens. It's messy. It's unpredictable. It's exciting. It's boring. It's just next to impossible to schedule out all of the things that happen during a day when you have kids in residence. So, I gave up. Um-hmm. You heard (read?) me right. I quit trying to be the organized on-schedule micro-managing momma & just chillaxed. Please, don't get an image in your head of me languishing on the sofa, romance novel in hand, bon-bons & iced tea on a table nearby as my little ones swing from the chandelier (read ceiling fan) & I blissfully cheer them on ... Uh. No. I just have relaxed. I have a loosely scheduled existance now that looks something like this: Monday: Wash towels & linens. Clean kitchen. Make grocery list... Tuesday: Wash our clothing. Iron. Put Away. Clean bathroom. Wednesday: Wash kids clothes. Put dinner in the crock pot. Thursday: Sit & wait anxiously for 5:00 to arrive because it's DATE NIGHT! Friday: Get out of the house & go somewhere. Wash school clothes. Saturday: Um....I dunno...whatever comes our way. Sunday: Wrangle everyone out of the bed by 9 & have a 2 hour cleaning session. Cook lunch, go to church & be grateful we get to go out for dinner tonight.

Somehow...this works.

If you stop by unexpectedly (& maybe even expectedly), you will not find a pristine show home. You will find a reasonably clean, aside from the occasional toy on the floor (just step around it) home. The kitchen is *usually* clean, it's one area I'm pretty strict about. The only bathroom I can totally vouch for is mine...so ask to use it LOL *seriously*. You may find laundry in the works on pretty much any given day. You will also find sometimes strangely dressed children with big ol smiles on their *sometimes dirty* faces who will probably overrun you with questions & stories of their latest adventures, whether real or imagined. You need not take your shoes off...I've never been able to train anyone else but me to do it, why should you...but please wipe them off first. I hate to mop! I may get distracted & forget to ask if you'd like a drink--just ask for one. Then, relax & enjoy our crazy life.

That's what I do.

Object Lessons

"If you woke up tomorrow

with only the things that

you thanked God for yesterday,

what would you be left with?"

I know....WOW!

I wish I could say that this thought-provoking question was a Denise original, but...it's not. I read this as a post on Facebook this week, and it has stuck in my brain all week long.

In fact, I can say that I have been more prone to praying without ceasing this week!

Everytime something pops into my head that I am thankful for, I say a little grateful prayer.

Yes, I am mature enough in my walk with the Lord to know that He wouldn't take all the things away from me that I forgot to thank Him for....at least not overnight. However, yet again, I have to consider this question from the stand point of a parent & child.

Many years ago, I was shopping with one of my children & we happened upon some cute little skirts. We hadn't planned to shop for skirts, but she did need one & the price was right. So, we took several of them into the fitting rooms & tried them on. Well, she had her heart set on one in particular for no other reason than it came with a glittery belt. However, it did NOT look good on her, so I told her no. I did tell her we would get the one that looked adorable on her. She was less than thrilled. We went to the check out line & had to wait for a bit until our turn. During the wait, she was behaving a whole lot LESS than grateful for the purchase I was about to make for her. So much so, that I decided an object lesson was in order. As our turn came, I told the lady that we had decided not to get the skirt after all, and then had my daughter return it to the rack. She was devastated! While it wasn't the one she wanted, she DID want it. She cried & begged...totally changing her story when it was being taken away.

She did not get a skirt that day.

And she remembers that lesson in gratefulness to this day!

I must ask....does God use object lessons with His kids?

From experience, I can say He does.

What if I am pouting because things aren't going the way I felt they should?

What if I grumble & complain about living in a huge double-wide mobile home with a doable payment (which I do NOT...but, for the sake of making a point....) because I had drawn up the plans for the house I wanted & THAT is the ONLY thing I think I'll be happy with!!! What if He gave me everything I thought I needed?? Whew! The house payment, the cleaning, the maintenance...

What if I constantly complained (...I have been guilty of this one...but not 'constantly') about the number of children God chose to BLESS us with?

WHICH ONES WOULD I BE CONTENT TO LIVE WITHOUT????

No, I never dreamed of mothering 8 kids, but I can't imagine NOT mothering them, either! I am truly grateful for the object lessons I learn almost daily from this task God has given me.

What do I need to be grateful for?

Only EVERYTHING!

I can truly say that I am even grateful for the hard times He has brought us through. We are stronger for it.

Thank you, Lord...

for the sunshine

for birds

for color

for kids

for laughter

for tears

for food

for pain

for teenagers

for our land

for our home

for smells

for giving yourself for us

for....

Oh...sorry....

Your turn....... :)

JOY to the world!!!

WOW! I cannot believe it's been more than a month since I've blogged!

Well, not really.

It WAS December...the month of nothing to do!!! LOL

We had a wonderful holiday season, and I hope all of my friends did too. For the first time in 6+ years, we stayed HOME! It was amazingly relaxing. We were wakened by the pitter-patter of a small stampede of children shortly before 8 & the jolly festivities began. There were plenty of ooh's, ahh's, "oops, I think this was for you", laughs & even a few sentimental tears. The rest of the day was spent totally relaxing. We played with our new toys, napped, and stayed in our jammies till late in the afternoon.

Christmas evening, we had my folks & our sweet neighbors over for soup, snacks & games.

I think the thing I will remember most about the 2010 Christmas is that it was

RELAXING! :)

As usual, at this time of year, I find myself pondering the meaning of life. Ok, well, maybe just the direction of mine. Am I the only one who does a quick assessment of where I am & whether or not I'm happy here?

Probably not.

So...am I happy here?

Yes, I believe I am.

I have reached a place in my life where (finally) I am ok with who & what I am. Oh, don't get me wrong...I'm in no way perfect or even remotely close, but I am secure with my decisions & where God has brought me. I truly love my life; it's chaos, it's bumps, it's financial instability...all of it.

Why?

Why would anyone love a crazy life with 8 kids, no regular paycheck, disorganization, clutter....?

I know why.

J-O-Y.

I have joy in my heart.

Joy does not = happiness. However, you CAN be terribly unhappy about a situation & still have JOY in your heart. Please, don't mis-read this...I am not unhappy. LOL

But, there are aspects of my life which are, shall we say, less than my perfect ideal.

Years ago, I did something foolish & it ended up in a broken window ( I don't remember the circumstances). I really felt badly about it, and was afraid of what Lloyd would say. The next day, I looked at the cardboard that my sweetie had used to cover the gaping hole til we could replace it, and on it he had written, "DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF...and it's ALL small stuff!! :)"

I cannot tell you how that affected me.

I might have even cried (that's big for me).

That little cardboard saying spoke straight to my heart! It told me that, yes, the situation wasn't perfect, but the world didn't end...and...he loved me in spite of a bad decision.

My God is like that, too.


He loves us in spite of our poor decisions. Our grumbling. Our pouting. Our anger...all of it. When we learn to realize our place in God's heart...we have...JOY. And that knowledge, that joy, is what carries us through some of the darkest places in our lives.

I have been in places in my life where I didn't feel joy, but, upon consideration, I realize it is because I assumed that I had fallen out of that place in God's heart. A situation that was all in my mind.

Let me ask....

Do you have JOY?