Look! I Made This!!

It has been more than a year since I have blogged, and, boy what a year it has been!  I would apologize, but...ehhh...whatcha gonna do?

I have many thoughts in my mind the past few days & just felt the urge to write them down...to express them in some way.  Isn't that what a blog is for? 

If you know me at all, you might say I am a creative sort.  I have always had a "thing" for creating stuff.  Sometimes for money, sometimes for personal pleasure, often-times for relaxation.

Do you create? 

What is your creative outlet?

Do you scrapbook (I do)? 

How about photography (yep, that, too)?

Needlework (me, too!)?

Sewing (ummm..duh.)?

Quilting (nah...)?


One of the sometimes embarrassing, and secretly pleasant, side-effects of creativity is the compliments.  The ooh's & the ahh's are....nice.  I truly enjoy looking at something I have poured hours and hours of my time into.  Conversely, I have been known to fully complete something, say an outfit for one of my kids, and then chunk it in the Goodwill bag after one wear because I was humiliated to say I had made it.  Hey, we all have off days!  HA!


So, by now, you may be thinking this post is a bit self-serving, and maybe, in the end, it will be.  However, the creative expression that I want to talk about isn't about something you can buy supplies for at the local Hobby Lobby or Joanns craft stores.  It's bigger than that.  Chances are, it's something that even you...the self-professed "uncreative" person partakes in everyday.


Do you have kids?

I do.

Eight of them.

Yes.  Eight.

Five girls & three boys.

Ages 6-21.

Yes, they are all mine.

No, there are no twins.

No, we aren't Mormon or Catholic.

No, we don't know the Duggars personally.

No, I didn't plan to have them all, God did.

(I think that covers all of the most-asked questions....)


My kids are my greatest creation.  I know, I know...technically, I didn't create them, God did.  However, I DID play a VERY big role in it...so I'll take a little bit of credit.


From the moment I first laid eyes on each of them, they stole my whole heart.  I believe I must have, like, 10 or 13 hearts...one for each of my kids, one for my sweetheart, and some extras for all the other people I love.

From the moment I first held each one, I knew they were a great creation!

Each and every child is a wondrous creation.

I have, on more than one occasion had the feeling of wanting to have  Lion King moment...you know, the scene where that creepy monkey holds up the baby lion for all the world to see. 

C'mon...tell me you haven't had the urge to do that! 

You know, hold up your kid high for all the world to see & yell at the top of your lungs, "HEY!!!  LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!!"  Bowing is optional.

Parenting is hard work.  Seriously, the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my whole entire life!  I take it extremely seriously.  To see them becoming decent, loving, God-fearing, kind, well-adjusted people is a deep source of pride for me.  However, I can never sit back and rest & say...look how good they are turning out...I think I'll take a break.  Because, unlike an unfinished sewing project, six months down the road, they won't be in the same place.  "Resting" while parenting can cause so much extra work! 

In the last 3 months, I have seen 2 of my creations completed.  It has been bittersweet, to put it mildly.

Occasionally, I will make a particularly beautiful dress for my little girls and, when they outgrow it, I feel  small sense of sadness at not having it on the scene anymore.  I cannot make them stop growing, though, I have even tried to bribe them.

That sense of sadness is nothing compared to watching your beautiful daughter, dressed in the purest white, walk down the aisle and give her heart to a young man. 

W.O.W! 

The pain is acute. 

But so is the pride.

That day, when I have sat and watched some of my finest creations pledge their life & love to another, has been the last time I had that Lion King moment.  There she was...for everyone to see.  So beautiful.  So poised.  So happy.  She loves God.  She is smart.  She has so much to offer.  AND she can cook!

I have never been more proud than that day.

I also have never hurt more. 

I received the compliments graciously.

There are still 6 more creations at home.  Works in progress. 

I will still have cause to hold up my babies and show the world..."LOOK WHAT I MADE!!!"

Bowing is optional.

Morgan & Enrique
January 23, 2015

 

 

 

 

Heather & Seth
May 2, 2015

***Special note:  This post is written from my standpoint, but is in no way meant to discount the role their Dad plays.  Just saying...****

A Leap of Faith....

 

Have you ever wanted to reach a goal, a very HIGH goal, and you KNEW you could do it with diligence on your part, but you were too afraid of the results IF you achieved the goal?

 

Sounds rather convoluted, I know, but that sentence pretty much describes what I've been going through for the past 6 months, and much more intensely for the last week.

 

 

I normally keep this blog pretty light & even humorous, but today, I have a lot of rather deep things on my mind. 

 

Goals, dreams, destinations...they are exciting & new.  Some of them, we know exactly what to expect when we arrive.  Some have promise, but no definite outline.

 

For instance, at the end of 4 years of high school, you graduate.  A wonderful, exciting goal.  Also, a scary, confusing time. 

 

What comes next? 

 

What do you want to be when you "grow up"?

 

A wonderful time of accomplishment can also be rife with fear & uncertainty.

 

 

On the other hand, planning a trip to Disney World, is a pretty sure bet of good things to come!  No fears, no worries (except how to pay for it). 

 

These are both lofty goals & great achievements, if reached, but the emotions involved can be very different.

 

I guess, I should stop beating around the bush & just come out & say what's on my heart....

 

 

God, Jesus, the Church....have all been in my heart & a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember.  I have loved the Lord for as long as I can remember.  I don't ever remember a time where I didn't WANT to have Him in my life. 

 

However, a walk with God requires taking steps.

 

So, I've done the baby steps....I gave up the biggies that displeased Him.  I quit murdering, drinking, carousing, smoking dope....hey, those were no problem. :)

 

I have reached a place where things that bothered me as a younger person, no longer even phase me.  That's growth, too.

 

I feel that God has been asking more of me.  He wants MORE of my heart, MORE of me.  I have known this for a while now.

 

 

But, I'm scared.

 

Yeah, probably sounds crazy, but I'm being honest here.

 

Will He take care of me?

 

Will He catch me?

 

Will He make serving Him comfortable? (prolly not!)

 

Yesterday, we said goodbye to a wonderful friend.  I don't believe in making saints out of people after they pass, but this man was truly good.  He had many qualities in his life that I envy (whoops, one of the big 10....).

 

He never complained-even when in extreme pain.

He always made God his first choice, even when it would have been easier to stay home in bed.

He gave his all. Always.

He was selfless.

 

Um....I miiiiiigggght pull one or two of those out of the hat a couple of times a year, but not consistently by any means.

 

Sigh.  And therein lies my problem.

 

 

See...I don't like to suffer.  True story.  I like ease.  I like things my way.

 

Then I read about Job.  Sigh again.  I really don't think sackcloth and ashes are for me.  Boils???  Noooope.  Losing my stuff....well, I could deal with that.  Losing my kids?  There's the kicker.  THAT'S what I'm afraid of (I may be just a teensie bit MORE afraid of getting them back doubly!!).

 

Seriously, I know that serving God is a very rewarding life.  I also know that I cannot live in such a way that I benefit from the blessings, but never share in the burdens.  I hate to cry.  I have cried more in the last few years than in all the rest combined.  God created us to be emotional beings, but I just don't enjoy hurt.

 

 

Here's the bare bones of my dilemma:

 

Go on farther with a mighty God, knowing that trials, sufferings & heartaches may (most likely will) be interspersed (liberally) throughout my blessings, but that

the quality of the blessings will outweigh the trials.

 

 

OR

 

 

Sit right here on my white picket fence with one leg on each side leaning more to the side that feels most comfy for the moment. 

 

I have never thought of myself as a "fence-sitter" Christian.  And maybe I haven't always been.  There have been moments of total devotion. 

 

But somewhere along the road, as it has become more bumpy, the storms more fierce, the sorrows more painful, I found me a nice smooth section of fence & climbed right up there & made myself at home.

 

Deep in my soul, I know which side I will climb down on, but the jump from where I'm sitting to where I need to be is pretty steep & I'm afraid.  Fear is NOT of the Lord. 

 

This, I know. 

 

However, from where I sit....it's pretty scary.

 

 

Will You catch me???

 

I hear a whisper in my soul......

 

 

 

 

 

 

"YES!"

It's a GREAT Life!!!!!

Last week held some pretty good days! My girlies were finally home from their travels in parts north. I really enjoy having them around, they are fun (oh, and they can run to the store for me, too :).

I got some (ok, lots) sewing done.

Sewing = joy :)

I am working on tote bags. I have a thing for bags. I look at them anytime I see them in the stores. I wonder why? They are fun for me, and I can't quite put my finger on the why of it. So, I have acquired a great pattern, mixed up some adorable fabric combos, dug out the embroidery machine to personalize them...put a sweet price-tag on them...and am selling 'em like hotcakes! :) I am shooting for some dining room chairs. Three years of white plastic folding chairs in lieu of wood is long-enough, dontcha think??

Anyway, if you want one....let me know! I can make them with lotsa pockets, pencil pockets, cell phone pockets, money pockets, bottle pockets...you name it....

One other project I completed this week ('cause I kinda had to) was a ~man~ tie & vest for B-man to wear in a wedding. He was the ring bearer, and he ROCKED it! I told him he would, and he agreed...his wording was, "Duh, mom, it is called the ring BEAR!" Hahaha...Bear is a nickname we frequently use for him. He took his job VERY seriously, too.

I also took my Dad out to lunch for his birthday. His choice: Indian food.

Oooooookaaaayyy.

It was HIS birthday, after all. So, we had, chicken-something, veggie rice whatchamacalit with some yogurt sauce of some sort...and DIET COKE which really brought it all together nicely. :) I have now had Indian food. Mark it off the list of things to do before I die...now where on my list did I put that exactly? Hmmmm....better pencil it in & mark it off!

Seriously, though, I don't really spend much time with my dad one on one, so at least once a year, I take him out. When I started doing this several years it was actually kinda awkward, and that was just WRONG! He IS my dad, after all, it should not be hard to talk to him. In all fairness, he isn't really the *chatty* sort. However, we have found our nitch. We have some common interests, and I have found in him a place to go for info on all things botanical. If he doesn't know the answer...he just fakes it! LOL!!

After our lunch, we went to a mutual fave....Barnes & Noble. We both love to read, and WHO can afford those books? We sit & thumb through books that we probably will never own. It's great!

This last week held another special date: Sam. I took my oldest boy out on the town. First stop, the library...then fajitas...then ice cream. Could a date get any better??? I don't think so, either!

I could keep boring you with the details of my life, but let me sum it all up with:

GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! I L.O.V.E. MY LIFE!!!!!

Thanks for stopping by & humoring me in my ramblings :0)

It's a Crazy Life!!

I really don't know what I'm going to ramble on about tonight, but I just felt the urge to blog. I have been sitting here in my quiet house, listening to the hum of the refrigerator running (better go catch it!! LOL), hearing a random beep (and wondering what it is, but not enough to go find out), and catching up on my blog reading. I find myself wondering what we did before the invention of the internet (should I ask Al Gore???). I feel like I am so much more in contact with friends who are miles away. Texting, emails, blogs...all make the world a much smaller place. I, for one, just love it :) However, (isn't there always one of those?) I find that I do lack discipline in utilizing these wonderful inventions...if I'm not careful. There are legitimate things that can be done on a computer, and I do plenty of them, but the temptation to just "check" on everyone else is sometimes more than I can handle.

"What's the big deal?", you may ask.

Well, as you may or may not know, I have 2 toddlers here & even just a few minutes of my attentions being distracted from them can lead to hours of frustrating clean-up, including, but CERTAINLY not limited to: salt all over the dining room table & floor, completely unrolled toilet paper tubes, a brand-new 15 piece pack of gum...completely gone, with wrappers on the floor, all of the clean laundry unfolded & all over the house...I could go on & on & on & on..... So, when all eyes are not on them, the girls get into mischief...to say the least. And, when they do, I am forced to put away what was so enthralling to me to deal with the very real evidence of my distraction. UGH~ I have been feeling somewhat convicted about spending time on my computer, or anything, really, that pulls me away from my # 1 priorities. Don't get me wrong-I don't think there is anything wrong with reading a good book or magazine, or surfing the web in search of the best deal on shoes, books, fabric or whatever (after all, I AM trying to SAVE money!). What is wrong (at least for me), is the lack of discretion in the amount of time I spend doing it. I start out with good intentions, "Just 10 minutes...I need to check on banking, send an email, check the weather..." Then, 30 minutes later--there's a crash (or total silence, which, to me, is WAY scarier) & I'm brought back to real life with a thud! I decided the best way, for me, to handle this & to still feel connected with the outside world, was to make myself a daily schedule. Something like: 6:00 Wake & Shower 6:15 Read Bible 6:33 Pray 6:48 Have a moment of silence 7:00 Kiss all the little cherubs good morning on their perfectly clean faces & admire their tidy attire & hair. 7:30 Join the happy crowd at the table for a hearty breakfast . . . . . . . . 10:00 p.m. Fall happily into bed with a contented *sigh* at the end of an overly productive day. Ummmmmm....

Yeah, right!

So...well, what happened was....

LIFE!

A carefully regimented day like the one mentioned above (possibly without the sarcasm) is truly what would make me happy. However (there it is again), I have learned the hard way that life happens. It's messy. It's unpredictable. It's exciting. It's boring. It's just next to impossible to schedule out all of the things that happen during a day when you have kids in residence. So, I gave up. Um-hmm. You heard (read?) me right. I quit trying to be the organized on-schedule micro-managing momma & just chillaxed. Please, don't get an image in your head of me languishing on the sofa, romance novel in hand, bon-bons & iced tea on a table nearby as my little ones swing from the chandelier (read ceiling fan) & I blissfully cheer them on ... Uh. No. I just have relaxed. I have a loosely scheduled existance now that looks something like this: Monday: Wash towels & linens. Clean kitchen. Make grocery list... Tuesday: Wash our clothing. Iron. Put Away. Clean bathroom. Wednesday: Wash kids clothes. Put dinner in the crock pot. Thursday: Sit & wait anxiously for 5:00 to arrive because it's DATE NIGHT! Friday: Get out of the house & go somewhere. Wash school clothes. Saturday: Um....I dunno...whatever comes our way. Sunday: Wrangle everyone out of the bed by 9 & have a 2 hour cleaning session. Cook lunch, go to church & be grateful we get to go out for dinner tonight.

Somehow...this works.

If you stop by unexpectedly (& maybe even expectedly), you will not find a pristine show home. You will find a reasonably clean, aside from the occasional toy on the floor (just step around it) home. The kitchen is *usually* clean, it's one area I'm pretty strict about. The only bathroom I can totally vouch for is mine...so ask to use it LOL *seriously*. You may find laundry in the works on pretty much any given day. You will also find sometimes strangely dressed children with big ol smiles on their *sometimes dirty* faces who will probably overrun you with questions & stories of their latest adventures, whether real or imagined. You need not take your shoes off...I've never been able to train anyone else but me to do it, why should you...but please wipe them off first. I hate to mop! I may get distracted & forget to ask if you'd like a drink--just ask for one. Then, relax & enjoy our crazy life.

That's what I do.

Object Lessons

"If you woke up tomorrow

with only the things that

you thanked God for yesterday,

what would you be left with?"

I know....WOW!

I wish I could say that this thought-provoking question was a Denise original, but...it's not. I read this as a post on Facebook this week, and it has stuck in my brain all week long.

In fact, I can say that I have been more prone to praying without ceasing this week!

Everytime something pops into my head that I am thankful for, I say a little grateful prayer.

Yes, I am mature enough in my walk with the Lord to know that He wouldn't take all the things away from me that I forgot to thank Him for....at least not overnight. However, yet again, I have to consider this question from the stand point of a parent & child.

Many years ago, I was shopping with one of my children & we happened upon some cute little skirts. We hadn't planned to shop for skirts, but she did need one & the price was right. So, we took several of them into the fitting rooms & tried them on. Well, she had her heart set on one in particular for no other reason than it came with a glittery belt. However, it did NOT look good on her, so I told her no. I did tell her we would get the one that looked adorable on her. She was less than thrilled. We went to the check out line & had to wait for a bit until our turn. During the wait, she was behaving a whole lot LESS than grateful for the purchase I was about to make for her. So much so, that I decided an object lesson was in order. As our turn came, I told the lady that we had decided not to get the skirt after all, and then had my daughter return it to the rack. She was devastated! While it wasn't the one she wanted, she DID want it. She cried & begged...totally changing her story when it was being taken away.

She did not get a skirt that day.

And she remembers that lesson in gratefulness to this day!

I must ask....does God use object lessons with His kids?

From experience, I can say He does.

What if I am pouting because things aren't going the way I felt they should?

What if I grumble & complain about living in a huge double-wide mobile home with a doable payment (which I do NOT...but, for the sake of making a point....) because I had drawn up the plans for the house I wanted & THAT is the ONLY thing I think I'll be happy with!!! What if He gave me everything I thought I needed?? Whew! The house payment, the cleaning, the maintenance...

What if I constantly complained (...I have been guilty of this one...but not 'constantly') about the number of children God chose to BLESS us with?

WHICH ONES WOULD I BE CONTENT TO LIVE WITHOUT????

No, I never dreamed of mothering 8 kids, but I can't imagine NOT mothering them, either! I am truly grateful for the object lessons I learn almost daily from this task God has given me.

What do I need to be grateful for?

Only EVERYTHING!

I can truly say that I am even grateful for the hard times He has brought us through. We are stronger for it.

Thank you, Lord...

for the sunshine

for birds

for color

for kids

for laughter

for tears

for food

for pain

for teenagers

for our land

for our home

for smells

for giving yourself for us

for....

Oh...sorry....

Your turn....... :)

Lindsey's Story

Our fourth child is a bright, cheerful & smart little lady named Lindsey Brielle. She is full of life, and is growing up way too fast! She is only 7, but the Lord has already made Himself real to her in a wonderful way. Here is her story:

About 4 years ago, as we were getting ready for church, our 3 year old Lindsey crawled up on our bed and, as many kids love to do, was jumping on it. We were "otherwise occupied" and didn't see her.

Then we heard a noise followed by a scream & crying. When we ran to her, we quickly assessed that she had fallen & busted her mouth on the headboard.

At first, we were unable to determine the extent of the damage due to the blood....oh so much blood! So, we held her & put damp rags to her mouth to stop the bleeding.

When we were able to see in her mouth we saw a horrible sight! Two of her upper front teeth were completely pushed back & were flat to the top of her mouth. A third (an incisor) was twisted the wrong way & dangling. All in all, a very disturbing sight, to say the least!

Let me detour here to say that in the interum, we prayed. We also called some church friends & asked them to pray. I also gave her a dose of Tylenol. We called a dentist & they told us that, unless the teeth were completely out, there wasn't much they could do at this point. So, we did the logical thing: we put them back into place!

And they stayed!

For 4 years!

They were slightly gray, but they were in there & she had a normal smile!

Believe it or not, she WANTED to go to church. So we loaded her up & grabbed some damp rags (she was still bleeding). As soon as we got there, we had her prayed for. She did great.

I want you to know that, other than that intial dose of Tylenol, we gave her NO other medicines for pain!! She had NO pain!!! Amazing, huh?

The Lord helped her, and she knew it, even at the tender age of 3.

====F A S T F O R W A R D 4 Y E A R S=====

Tuesday night, November 30th, 9 p.m.

The kiddos were all getting to bed, when there is a crash and a horrible scream. Cries of "HELP ME" struck complete fear in my Mommy heart! In the 4 seconds it took me to RUN 2 doors to her room, my mind had already processed that I would be seeing something terrible.

I did.

Seven year old Lindsey was sitting on the floor by her sister's bed, where she had landed after losing her balance & falling off of her top bunk, crying uncontrollably & covering her mouth. I sat on the floor by her & tried to determine what the problem was.

She kept saying, "They're gone...they're gone!"

When I pried her hand away from her mouth, I saw. There, in her blood-filled hand were 3 teeth.

OH, NO!!!

Let me insert here that I am always amazed at how my mind becomes so clear & rational at times like this. I don't freak. I just take care of it...and fall apart later.

So, I just started issuing orders to the other children that gathered around.

"Heather, call your dad...we need him NOW!"

"Morgan, get me a glass of milk" (I have always heard to put knocked out teeth in a glass of milk...)

"I need some wet wash cloths"

Then, I just held her.

And prayed.

When Lloyd got there (which, thankfully, was only a few minutes), he took over. He cleaned & assessed. There was one more tooth hanging sideways that would have to come out. However, Lindsey wouldn't let us touch it.

After about an hour & a half, things had quieted down enough for us to take another look. I watched as Lloyd took a flashlight & looked around. His face said it all. It was bad.

Her gum was ripped, there appeared to be splinters in her gums, her lip had been punctured.

We swallowed the "no insurance" fear, loaded her up & went to the ER.

She was such a trooper! She let the doctors do what she wouldn't let us do! She was brave through the CT scan and the exams.

Thank the Lord, every bit of news came back good!!

Her jaw was NOT broken.

Her adult teeth were NOT damaged.

She would NOT need stitches.

She was ok...well, hurting, beaten up, bruised & bleeding, but OK!

I knew then & there that God & His people knew where we were! People were praying all over the U.S., thanks to FaceBook, even those who don't know us!

Here's the kicker:
As we were talking to the Oral Surgeon, we told her of Lindsey's previous accident. She was amazed! Lindsey had knocked out the SAME teeth TWICE!!! We told her how we put the teeth back in place the first time and, other than some discoloration, they were good as new.
I said, "yeah, they were gray, but ok".

The surgeon said, "her teeth were gray?"

"Yes."

The dr. then said, "Do you know that those teeth would have never fallen out? Because they were gray, that means they died. The had calcified to her jawbone & would have had to be surgically removed!"

Lloyd & I looked at each other.

Could this have been a blessing in disguise?

We think so.
No anesthesia.
No shots.
No fear.
Just sudden, irrevocable removal.
Hmmm....